# Wackypedia:Nonsense Archive 1

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## Carl's Number

Carl's number is often described as the largest number that has ever been seriously used in a Wikipedia article. It is too large to be written in scientific notation because even the digits in the exponent would exceed the number of bits in the Wikipedia hard drive, so it needs special notation to write down. Carl's number is much larger than other well known large numbers such as a googol and a googolplex, and even larger than Graham's number, another well-known extremely large number.

### Carl's problem

Carl's number is connected to the following problem in the branch of mathematics known as "just way too many dimensions":

Consider an n-dimensional universe, such that n0 = phi. Then begin to increase n indefinitely. As n approaches 42, a Graham's number-dimensional universe collides with the n-dimensional universe to unite and form a single m-dimensional universe. What is the most probable value of m?

Although the solution to this problem is not yet proved, Carl's number is the most probably solution and is the generally accepted answer. Carl found this when attempting to solve the first ever Graham's number-dimensional Rubik Cube.

### Definition of Carl's number

Carl's number Q is defined as follows:

$Q_1=3\uparrow\uparrow\uparrow\uparrow3 + 42= \begin{matrix} \underbrace{3_{}^{3^{3^{3^{{}^{.\,^{.\,^{.}}}}}}} + 42}\\ \mbox{ write the number three } 3^{205891132094649}\mbox { times and add 42} \end{matrix}$

### Historical significance of Q

Although the exact reason for picking Q is still unknown, it is often rumored that Carl picked the letter Q due to a complicated vector problem involving more dimensions than there are fundamental particles in the visible universe. To get around this, Carl created the Q notation, such that Q is everything. (The one and only contribution of User:MyNameIsCarl and, incidentaly much (I can't express how much) smaller than Grahams number.)

## Things to look out for

1. Aliens
2. Andrew Lloyd Webber Musicals
3. I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
4. In-laws
5. Racial Slurs
6. Kings of Iceland
7. Kitchen implements
8. Pages not created by Willy on Wheels
9. Politics and Government
10. Really long articles
11. Really short articles
12. Really gay priests
13. Really transexual articles
14. Really heterosexual articles
15. Really flambouyant articles
16. Seemingly normal articles
17. Secret Societies
19. Stereotypes
20. Sterosubtypes
21. Terra-ists
22. The Consequences caused by the Philadelphia Experiment
23. The Yuletide Testament
24. Toilets
25. USA's Next Target
26. Vanity pages
27. Vegetables
28. Wheeling Jesuit University
29. Your Mom after shooting her left toe off
31. Anal warts
32. Lard Prik
33. Naconkantari
35. Random flying woodland creatures
36. Green kids
37. Armpit hair

HOLY HUZZAHS PEOPLE CAN WRITE STUPID' THINGS!!

This is the internet

## From Kevin the Kleptomatic and Ever So Slightly Flatulent Koala

blah HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HA

## From 2109

2109-Many animals are taken over or eaten by robots, they are consumed as light snacks. Robots learn to reproduce with their gigantic huge and delicous metal d****. They become h---- 24/7.

Hilarious

One wonders exactly who first discovered the metal d****. Or how. Or WHY. Some people need a new hobby, methinks.

=O $Insert formula here$

## From Kylie Minogue

From an old revision of Kylie Minogue:

+ She is the more beautiful and more talented older sister of Michael Jackson.

An anonymous user was inspired to append to this entry: She can't sing. She can't dance. She should go far. The moon would do. haha funny

## From Fen

Fens were a 3-legged race of migrant smelly dwarves who nobody really liked but were uncertain how to get rid of in a nice way.They had a habit of making cucumber & eggy pies which tended to give them really awful gas which they had no qualms about sharing with whomever might be nearby.Although this was all done in a jovial nature it did not endear them in the least to the general population of England.Gertrit Mortldue is credited with ridding the Isles of them by starting a small, but effective, army of followers who befriended these dwarves and put gunpowder in their pies whenever they were not looking. Then the next time a Fen passed gas to a cohort he (or she) was blown to Smithereens. Smithereens is a small Isle off the coast of................

heehee [Off the coast of where?!? I must find this mysterious location!!!]

you crazy fool, Smithereens is in scotland, behind the horseshoe bar.

No, i do believe that smithereens is located next to atlantis, in the atlantic ocean. It was submerged benief the waves, and when it rose, the dwarves were clean and friendly, and gave cucumber & eggy pies to everybody.

Saints preserve us! Everyone knows that Smithereens is truely a small island off the western coast of Ireland! Sheesh. What geographic illiterates.

Smithereens is from the Asian nation of Wongduckpee and whoflungdung first discovered by Ben Doon and Philip McCaverty with I P Knightly.

Smithereens is not a place name. The Smithereens are actually a rock band. When exploded, the Fens were obviously blown to wherever the Smithereens were currently playing a concert. I'm going to see them perform in several weeks. Is there a message you'd like me to pass along?

Yes. That band gave me the yomamasfat virus. I was chortling at both ends.

## From Class warfare

It is better like an ostrich burying its head in the sand to not so view society.
An ostrich does not bury it's head in the sand. Rather is puts it's head flat on the ground to give the appearance of burying it's head in the sand If it were to bury it's head in the sand it would not be able to breathe properly due to lack of oxygen.

## From Egyptian languages

A dead language that eventually not even Egyptians could read. The end.

## From ixi jim ixi

So, does that make Latin a dead language that eventually not even latinos could read?

==From From Ur fat sister & canadien is a language that F***ing nobody can read

## From Funeral

blah what does blah have to do with funerals?

## From J. Edgar Hoover

President Richard Nixon's comment's on hearing that Hoover had just passed away ("That old cocksucker? We thought he was immortal.") cannot be taken literally, due to Nixon's well-documented predilection for prevarication.

Lationas are mexicens

## From Cincinnati

America's most liveable city.

Located on the Ohio River across from Kentucky.

Not an (intentional) joke. Cincinnati was rated the #1 place to live in the 1993 "Places Rated Almanac"

## From The Douche-Cruise Story

The Story of Cruise-Douche

## From Actors

Q: How do you make a little box?

A: With little boards. ;-)

What do you mean by 'little box'?

I think they're talking about Ted's mom.

## From Abraham Lincoln

Lincoln was shot at Ford's Theater. John F. Kennedy was shot in a Ford Lincoln. Gerald Ford was shot at, but they missed.

(Actually, this is supposed to be true. There was actually a wide range of coincidences involving the deaths of Lincoln and Kennedy. Quite a few of these can be verified. - Arno)
(Actually true, Lincoln shot in Ford theatre, Kennedy in a Ford Lincoln. Lincoln's secretary was called Kennedy, Kennedy's - Lincoln. Both wives dreamt assassination in advance.Both succeeded by a Johnson. [JTD]
(There are a wide range of instances with regards to any two things, most of them are pure luck. With regards to Lincoln/Kennedy, visit Urban Legends: Lincoln/Kennedy for more information.) - TimmyD 06:57 Apr 28, 2003 (UTC)
Kennedy's secretary was called Lincoln, but while Lincoln's secretary was called John, his last name was Nicolay, not Kennedy. --Marnen Laibow-Koser 17:23, 21 Oct 2004 (UTC)

It should be noted that week before their respected shootings, President Lincoln was in Monroe, Maryland while President Kennedy was in Marylin Monroe. ;-)

Marylin Monroe - June 1, 1926 – August 5, 1962
The assassination of John F. Kennedy took place on Friday, November 22, 1963
Obviously necrophilia then.

Yeah but what a body -heh heh-

## From Nonsense Jokes

Jonny went in to the bakers & asked for a loaf of bread.
Baker; "White or brown"
Jonny; "It doesn't matter, I'm on my bike."

I believe this joke may belong to the honourable tradition of "nonsense jokes", which have the appearance of logic, but ultimately defy logic, whence the humour. (But wait -- what if the road is muddy and going by bike makes any bread brown regardless of its original color due to splattering?) Others include:

Two nuns in a bath. One says "Pass the soap", and the other says "What am I, a radio?"

Man goes up to other man and says "Give me a bite of your apple". First man says "It's not a pear, it's a banana."

If I'm canoeing up a tree, how many cupcakes does it take to get to the moon? None, since vests don't have sleeves.

I lykke that joke! It makes no sense, but everyone understands it lol!

(ed. Queen of Fools) The purpose of the above jokes is something only acheived when the joke is actually told. It is almost impossible when you read them. The jokes, especially that about the nuns (can also be substituted with muffins, spatulas, or panda bears), are supposed to be told with the appearance that it is really funny, and once told, see which poor sap laughs at the joke. When you read it, you know that it makes no sense, but if you make someone think that it really is funny, they just don't get it...it all turns out okay! ;-D

The nuns joke quoted above actually appears to be a bowdlerised version of a dirty joke that was popular in British school playgrounds of the 1970's though it is possibly much older:

Two nuns in a bath. One says "Where's the soap?", and the other says "It does, doesn't it?"

It is possible that someone who didn't get the pun ("where's" sounds like "wears") and the sexual reference wrongly interpreted this as a nonsense joke and so assumed it was OK to change the punchline to anything random.

The bread joke probably is a nonsense joke, but it could also be interpreted: Jonny rides home on his bike through the muddy streets, therefore even white bread would be brown by the time he gets it home. The title "Bad Bread Joke" is equally amibiguous: the adjective "bad" could be modifying either "bread" or "bread joke". :-) Benc 15:13, Jul 22, 2004 (UTC)
This is a translation of a very old Slovenian nonsense joke. Zocky 01:14, 11 Sep 2004 (UTC)
The bread joke has also been interpreted as a racial joke about segregation. The man is on his bike, so regardless of the colour of his skin, he can still get home. If he'd been travelling on public transport, being brown (i.e. black) could have caused problems on his journey home. Ophelia 14:14, 18 January 2006 (UTC):

For some reason, particular words seem to be common in non-jokes (as they are also called). Polar bears, radios, tortoises. For instance:

Two polar bears are sitting on an iceberg. One falls in the water, the other turns to him and says "bye bye radio!"

A man walks into a bar with a tortoise on his head. He asks for some cheese. The bartender says "but this is a bar", so the man says "that's OK, the tortoise is paying". Grutness 13:41, 20 Oct 2004 (UTC)

I have a potato joke that is seriously funnier than all of these. Smooth Henry 17-Jan-04

It seems obvious that nonsense jokes were unintentionally invented by confused people who didn't get it when they are first told the story, intentionnally invented for the same people by the ones who do get it, and also created to demonstrate that some things are funny enough in essence and don't need any plot addition, things such as polar bears, a radio, a tortoise. Nonsense jokes are very natural, look at the platypus for instance. Izwalito 20:40, 6 Feb 2005 (UTC)

I don't think that joke with the punchline "that's OK, the tortoise is paying" really qualifies as a nonsense joke. It does have a punchline that vaguely makes sense. It's pretty much a non sequitur but not nonsense.

It has an OBVIOUS punchline - the man is confused on why it's not OK to order cheese. How is this a nonsense joke? There are tons of jokes exactly like it with the same confusion of why something is wrong. -Iopq 02:54, 28 October 2005 (UTC)

Here's how to make sense of the tortoise joke..

A man walks into a bar with a tortoise on his head. (tortoises are old)
He asks for some cheese.(you obviously cant buy that in a bar, also, you have to be of legal age to buy things in a bar)
The bartender says "but this is a bar" (in reference to the cheese),
so the man says "that's OK, the tortoise is paying"(the man thought he was being told "you arent old enough to buy things in a bar", not "we dont serve cheese".)

All these jokes are made a lot funnier if you tell them with a group of friends who have already heard the joke, with one person that hasn't heard it. Everyone who knows in advance that it's nonsense will start laughing after the false punch-line, and the unlucky guy will think it's supposed to be funny but will have no idea whats going on. Best if the joke teller uses another joke of a similar nature, one that is equally as ridiculous, and says that it will explain the punch-line. Ex:

"A cat and a fox are taking a bath, and the cat says to the dog "pass the soap," the dog replies "what do I look like, a radio?"
Followed by: " a penguin walks to the top of an iceberg and says "RADDIIOOOO"
Now watch your friend try to figure it out. You can let him struggle for days.

The nun joke can be interpreted as a reference to soap operas.

## From Agnostida

Trilobits that aren't entirely sure whether or not God exists. Just kidding.

Which humourless twit deleted this brilliant joke?

^Amen... There are precious few paleontology jokes this good.

## From Cannabis

"balls for president"

Was this a reference to Clinton confessing he put a spliff in his mouth in England (where US law can't touch him) and claiming he didn't inhale? Kingal86 21:15, 19 Oct 2004 (UTC)

I'm sure it's not. But what would the US law matter, the act of smoking weed isn't illegal, and past use is also not a crime. And possession is illegal in the UK as well so what are you talking about!

well if your only tiff is whith the phrase (where US law can't touch him)i dont see how this makes the statement no longer valid. perenthisis signify what yur about to read dosent matter anyway =}

Parenthesis definetly do not mean that. For god's sake you are on wikipedia, look it up instead of just saying stuff.

Mac is also my wife's uncle, and a very nice old guy.

Big Mac addresses however, are something entirely different.

WHO HO HO!!

## From New World Order

Hitler is not dead. The Germans cloned him just before he "died". Hitler and the new world order are behind this. Also, There are some new additions to the New World Order. These new additions are Mussolini, Stalin, Feidel Castro, Atillia the Hun, Genghis Kahn, and Sadam Hussein. --Note- Atillia and Genghis Khan are the descendants of the original people-- they hijacked the planes that hit the world trade center and the Pentagon. (OMG OMG hitler is strangling me)

## From History of computing

The Flintstones used devices to aid in computation millions of years ago, for instance the abacus.

Did their abacus make sardonic comments like their other household appliances? Michael Sidlofsky 03:06, 25 Nov 2004 (UTC)

July 14 2006 Like when Homer was building that church in The Simpsons, i think he was mixing cement in a pelicans beak, to whence he stated "If the flintstones have taught us anything, its that animals make great tools, Hee hee hee, now say somthing in a dismissive mannor, like (sigh), it's a living..." at this point, it became apparent the bird had died in the mixing process, much to the viewee's delight in comical refernce.

## From Muslim Language

Where's the joke? Why does every other group get made fun of execpt muslims?

But there is a secret language taught by the Prophet (peace be upon him) to his closest disciples, which only in this century has become publicly known. See http://www.geocities.com/muslimdict (enemies of Allah delete truth of his Prophet from this page, but Allah shall have HIS VENGANCE! they shall be cursed by Allah and go to HELL when they die! they are pagans and infidels and enemies of Islam, who deny the secret language revealed by Muhammad the prophet of Allah)

Ooooh, grow up, you. I liked that joke about the little box made out of little boards.

How do you put an elephant in the fridge?

           Open the door, put him in, and close the door.


How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

           Open the door, get the elephant out, put the giraffe in and close the door


There was a party, in which all animals participated save one - which animal was it?

           The giraffe.  It's in the fridge.


As you are going home to let the giraffe out of the fridge, you come to a river in Africa. There is a sign that says, DANGER, ALLIGATORS. There is no boat, and no bridge. How do you get across?

           Just swim across. The alligators are all at the party.


Actually...

This is a quotation from an actual study in communications that was done by some researchers a while ago. The point of the line of questioning was that 5 and 6 year olds could understand questions and retrain conditions and facts better than adults.

Actually Actually... You're all good at the river in Africa, because There Are No Alligators In Africa. Just crocodiles.

Actually Actually Actually... Whoever wrote the sign would have been wrong, sure. That should be some consolation while you're getting eaten by crocodiles.

SOMEONE missed the point. There are no crocodiles either. Every animal (which includes all alligators AND crocodiles) is at the party, save for the giraffe, who is in the fridge.

GOOSE


FNORD!

## From 831

In 831, a man named josephintee falltoay had befouled a villager who then placed a curse on the man and then he was forever to walk the earth as skeleton until he could kill the great great great great great great grandson of the man who placed a curse on Josephintee.

Kids, don't do drugs. :-)

## From talk:Mammalia

"(Linnaeus named the order mammals for their breasts because he wanted to encourage women to breast-feed their infants.)"

Really?! Who knew they had formula way back then!

## From JohnnyCash

The following seems to be a prose poem about the famous American country singer, JohnnyCash:

"Johnny walked the line, rock island line, on an orange blossom special, fell into a burning ring a' fire, had a boy named sue, on a sunday morning sidewalk, got busted for picking flowers in alabama? georgia?, bennie and the jets.. ain'choo worried 'bout gettin' your nourishment down in florida? i don't care if i do, die, do, die, do.. '56 '57 '58 '59 '61 '62 automobile, folsom prism blues, now slingin rubensesque metallica, waits, revival waddever songs of sin and redemption"

This is really stupid.

This is the work of a genius

Ill bet a lesbian did this

Shutup u wiener

fags

## From Bird

Birds go "GAW GAW!" which stands for "God Always Wins! God Always Wins!", which shows that birds do praise God and indeed go to heaven, in accordance with His divine providence. And don't even try and tell me this is wrong, because my freshman year theology teacher said it was true, and you wouldn't call an 80 year old retired Marine Officer and now a Benedictine Monk a liar, would you? Huh? Would ya, punk?

I would. Especially since birds don't go "GAW GAW"
I would too, because I don't even believe in God.68.18.103.98 17:35, 24 November 2005 (UTC)

It's true, I just leaned over and asked God and he said it was.

Yeah...the previous poster asked me on my talk page.--Lwieise -=- Talk to Me 11:00, 1 May 2006 (UTC)
According to the official translation of God always win in french (Dieu gagne toujours), birds in france should go "DGT-DGT"... But they go "CUI-CUI", so what's wrong?? Whistopathe 21:51, 2 June 2006 (UTC)
The French are Stupid and I think that pretty much sums it all up right there... --137.244.215.19 20:43, 29 November 2006 (UTC)

Tru dat...
'(Talk) (Contrib)

## From Algorithm

The term should not be confused with "Algoreism" -- meaning an embarassingly funny remark attributed to Al Gore, such as, "I invented the Internet".

This should be put back in IMMEDIATELY!!!-- Retinarow 18:27, 31 March 2006 (UTC)

Indeed.

Even though only Ann Cunter used the term "invented". Al Gore used the term "created", in reference to his pushing for early research into the internet when he was a senator genius. Miller 17:56, 19 June 2006 (UTC)

Kashami 02:02, 12 June 2006 (UTC)

## From a justification for an edit given by a Wikipedian

"I'm a twerp. I don't want to know the truth, nor do I care about the truth. Everyone else that bothers coming in contact with me are buffoons. That's why I don't like talking to other people because of my higher intelligence. If you disagree with me you are a imbecile and I will stop at nothing to prove it, even if it means lying and distortion of the truth. " Actually, i disagree with this

Well if theyre gonna distort the truth and lie, cant they just say that you do agree with them?

i contradict myself...no wait! i don't!

## From Eep

eep opp ork aah-aah

The above line is the chorus of a song featured in the Hanna-Barbara cartoon, The Jetsons. In the classic episode 'A Date With Jet Screamer', George's daughter Judy enters a songwriting contest in order to win a date with her singing idol, Jet Screamer. On his way to mail her entry, George reads her lyrics. Finding them terrible, he decides to subsitute his son Elroy's secret message code (eep opp ork aah-aah). The entry wins the contest and Judy goes on a date with Jet Screamer. George follows them and ends up playing drums in Jet Screamer's band.

the monkey says i love you

A stunning redition of the song, Eep Opp Ork Ah Ah (Means I Love You), has been done by the Violent Femmes. --LittleRobotWoman

It was also covered by the Dickies in the soundtrack to Killer Klowns from Outer Space.

This stuff is true, why is it here?

isn't it continued by bing bang, wanna wanna bing bang?

No that's from some Rugrats movie where someone (I think possibly monkeys) are singing: Ooh ee Ooh Aah Aah, Bing Bang, Walla Walla Bing Bang, Ooh ee Ooh Aah Aah, Bing Bing Walla Walla Bing Bang . . . or something like that.

The above two paragraphs confuse the Jetsons song with the mid-twentieth century American novelty song "Witch Doctor", whose lyrics include "Ooo Eee Ooo-Ah-Ah, Ting, Tang, Walla-walla Bing Bang". If these words were used in the Rugrats Movie, it is likely that they were derived from that song. Although they probably do not mean "I Love You", the words are those uttered by the witch doctor in response to being told that the writer was in love with the person being addressed in the song.

To expand on this, the song "Witch Doctor" was written and performed by Ross Bagassarian under his stage name "David Seville" in 1958. This was the prototype of "Alvin and the Chipmunks" and pioneered multi-track recording and sound modification techniques. In fact, all this information can be found right here: <a href=" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alvin_and_the_Chipmunks"> </a> -- ChefFrank

i make an "eep" noise when poked.. does that count for anything?

--unless you're a Macintosh, no.

Two-Pack Shaqueur was an African American Gangster Rappist which sings hip-hop music sings about gabgster life on the Western Side. The Western quadrant of the region, known to Thugs" as the West side, is populated by Californians, Mexicans Africans and whites including several Jews and three or four thousand "CRIPSTERS". Cripsters are a predominantly afro-saxon gang which wears blew and shoots at "Bloods", which are a Mafiya of Gangster Black People in RED bandannas, in contrsat to the blue colour preferred by CRIPSTERS.

## From Jon Voight

Jon Voigt is semi-gay, resulting in his bisexual daughter.

2pac is living in the bahamas under the suedoname of jaunicous broder, thats why they are still coming out with songs since 1994 when he was supposed to have died. amen from sleepy

## From KGB, listed as heads of the KGB

Kapil Jain March 13 1954 - December 8 1958
Sharon Stone December 25 1958 - November 13 1961
Demi Moore November 13 1961 - May 18 1967 Kalashi Grast Borcsht March 13 1954 - November 6 1991

## From Hippopotamus

Hippos are just too cool for school!

no, actually, there are a couple in my geometry class...they take up a bit of room, but the teacher doesn't mind :)

There's also some who are as fat/thick as them.

This one works.

Note: Also broken.

Then what's a hippocampus?

Actually, there's a hippo in my 5th grade class. His name is Paul. -User:KinseyLOL

A hippocampus is a mythological animal with the head of a horse and the body of a fish. So, much like a mer-horse. Anyone making a sea-horse joke WILL be shot.

In soviet rrussia, horse seas YOU!!

beep The hippocampus is the memory center of the brain

I wouldn't say it's the center, more or less the medial ventral part. P.S. Kinsey, when you grow up you will realize how stupid that joke was...

## From Henotheism

Describe the new page here. There exists GOD. He is so great that in order for us to understand him, he shows himself in more than one way (TRINITY). However, EVOLUTION was not the creation of godthefather. The angels were. They were "perfect" in everyway. godthefather (mr-know-it-all) created angels (minigods, gods of the pantheon), each one to display his myriad of emotions. But, as the chinese proverb Goes, a house divided against itself cannot stand. These "emotions" were conflicting and "running rampant" in "heaven". Similar to Nordic mythology it had three main players: Odin(mr know it all), Thor (Jesus Christ), and Loki (not satan, no, the HOLY SPIRIT, who moves in mysterious ways, who is the ultimate master of disguise and INTRUIGE. Think, chinese proverb in relation to the Trinity). So anyway, loki pisses off thor, thor comes to save the world, but "Marvel Comics" leaves this part out: THOR DIES, in the most altruistic mode (think Jesus Christ and SELF SACRIFICE) or think outside of the box, think SOCRATES. So after "Thor" makes this ultimate fool out of his "warrior image", men scoff at him (much like the "pharisees") scoffed at Christ. So what happens is that "Evolution" is created. Man doesn't see the need to sacrifice himself. Only the self righteous (you know who I'm talking about, the born again baptist fundamentalists) try to recreate Christ's crucifixion in their daily lives, but they miss the big picture: THEY HAVE NO RIGHT SACRIFICING THEMSELVES IF JESUS WAS TRULY 'thor'. Maybe Jesus thought he was invincible, much like the action hero "thor", but he didn't count on the resourcefulness of "evil". That is, ahem, the ability for minds to change and turn against the one who has the "answers" out of any "emotion". Gentlemen, what I am trying to explain is that in this point of evolution, man is nothing but an extremely complex, extremely "narcissictic" ANIMAL. If man is to ever be perfect he has to return to his mr-know-it-all way of thinking. Man has to emulate small things at first, like computers, but eventually, maybe, man will live beyond physical limitations, beyond science, beyond THE HUMAN MIND. The human mind is the only AI that is ever gonna exist. The human mind is "The Matrix". The human mind has conjured up legends of the most perfect angel (LUCIFER) "the ultimate narcissist (tried to play god.......genetics maybe?)" and God the Father "threw him out of paridise". If that isn't the ultimate parody on today's reality, I don't know what is. In order for the human brain to reach its potential, it's state of "COMPUTER" instead of its state of BOMIS, is for people to start being honest, upfront, and carrying a big motherfucking stick to back it up. That's the only way the "Animal" listens in the end: INSTINCT. This word that you are creating means, follow your instincts to the "PROMISED LAND".

UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM ... SOUNDS REASONABLE TO ME!  :-)

Sounds like some Polar bear needs to quit listening to his radio.--Awhit003 06:08, 22 September 2005 (UTC)

What if we dont want to be perfect?

The "House Divided" proverb isn't Chinese. It's from Matthew 12:25.

Matthew was Chinese.

Matthew was NOT Chineese! He was Mid-eastern

Did somebody say "Where's the soap"?

## From Brown

Brown commonly refers to taking a huge shit, the most high!!!!! he will rule the universe with an iron toilet seat! His wrath will fall from the sky like ......something that ....falls...from..the sky? Also, Brown, Alton, host of Good Eats, commonly known as the best chef on the Food Network, viewing food and cooking with an offbeat, fun, and scientific eye.

PEN 15

There is also rumor of a "Brown Note" with causes people to become quezy and crap their pants. Myth Busters Supposedly proved this to be false, however my vehicle is so sealed with windows up that when i roll down both back windors it causes a pulsating and very low pitched vibration. This noise tends to make me very sick quickly. And you care because...I don't know..but you read this far.

## From Hot Grits

I just poured HOT GRITS down my pants

Ow.

The funniest line from a movie is in The Wood where they try to buy grits at a store. Taye Diggs is SO FUNNY

## From CARROTS

WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL CARROTS HOME PAGE ON THE WORLD WIDE WEB!! CARROTS ARE A VEGETABLE. YOU CAN EAT THEM IN SALADS AND SOUPS. YOU CAN EAT THEM IN DESERTS AND JAIL. CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION ON CARROTS.

Can you eat other vegetables in jail as well,
or will that affect your parole hearing?


Ahh, the inestimable beauty of the zeugma.

Your hearing - parole or otherwise - should remain unaffected but if you do not eat carrots you may experience deterioration of your parole eyesight.

Donkeys like carrots Carrots don't like donkeys It's silly, but it's funny French child-song

FNORD!

## From How to tell the origin of an accent (Hebrew)

Sometimes they yell at each other or slam on table but they don't mean to be rude, it is just the way they speak. If a candy apple suburbanite hedgehog proposes to water your magnolias before the big race, say no, then proceed to spew ink out of your glandular thyrosis towards the general genital area, resulting in a puddle of piss ink. I have a pool we go sometimes.

## From Erica Fishbein-Gold

Erica s a wpner of a woman. She glides through the air with the greatest of ease, yes she glides through the air in a flying trapeze. She jumps and she shouts and she does sorts of things she can do anything because of what she brings to the park and the class of the grade of one two she has two feet and on each a shoe. Yay Erica.

## From Clam Dip

Clam Dip: The god of soggy potato chips in modern mythology.

Clam Dip is the son of Hera (god) and Walky (mortal); however, he seems to take mostly after his father.

His powers include, but are not limited to: Conjuring potato chips, superfast munching and silly jokes.

## From Battle of Tsushima

russian meet japan for a naval fight. russia start to loose but then the russian avatar came down and ate all of the japs. the japs could do nothing but summon godzilla. godzilla and the russian avatar named the Czar fought for many years until king kong stopped them, and then the three of them went and fought motha!

You mean "Mothra", right? ok, thats just plain stupid

## From Henry David Thoreau

Thoreau went into the woods and made love to trees. No kidding. He actually had sexual intercourse with them. Far out, huh?

That would hurt if he got a splinter. Aviatophobiac 14:40, 24 July 2006 (UTC)

## From the deleted article Millions of worthless entries

What is the Wikipedia

What is the Wikipedia

## From most popular family names

• Australia
• Dundee?

(editor's note: for the record, 99.9% of Australians are as likely to run into a crocodile as a resident of Portland, Oregon is to run into an alligator.)

(But aren't we all editors?)
(editor's note: yes ... yes, we are)

(Further note: By contrast, despite their cumbersome mode of locomotion, Australian babies seem to be as likely to run into a hungry dingo as a resident of Los Angeles, California is to run into a traffic jam.)

Do you mean they don't have alligators in Oregon, or they do? Kingal86 21:18, 19 Oct 2004 (UTC)

Of course they don't have them there, except in zoos. The weather gets really really cold and wet there every fall, getting down to a few degrees above freezing and 100% humidity. 07:11, 31 Jan 2005 (UTC)

That is a bold and blatant lie. You besmirch the weather of Oregon. Many of my best Oregonian friends keep pet gators in their backyard ponds. They thrive there far better than in the Outback.

It's not a lie if you live in the Willamette Valley. If you live in other zones, the weather may be different. Where do you live? Max 20:17, 16 August 2005 (UTC)

In Alphen a/d Rijn of course!

Aren't they called crocodiles if they're in Australia? --ChadThomson 06:54, 28 November 2005 (UTC)

crocodiles and alligaters are different animals, and us aaustralians all have pet crocs!

Also, all Australians are criminals, or descendents of criminals. They must be treated as such at all times.

I have yet to see a wild croc but I have seen a dingo.

Not all Australians are descendants of criminals, some of us are descendants of illegal immigrants or Vikings, like myself

Oregon is actually a state of many climates. While in the Willamette Valley (where I live) the statement is true, but if you live East of the Cascades, you will have colder, drier weather in the winter. In Southern Oregon, where I grew up, the weather is similar to Eastern Oregon. Just so y'know. Of course, an alligator or a crocodile could never survive in either climate.

I have a dog that is descended from a dingo and I love Oregon, alligators and all.

## From Cactolith

A cactolith is a quasihorizontal chonolith composed of anastomosing ductoliths whose distal ends curl like a harpolith, thin like a sphenolith, or bulge discordantly like an akmolith or ethmolith.

(note: A google search shows that this quote is actually in a 1953 geology book, Hunt, Charles B.; Paul Averitt and Ralph L. Miller Geology and Geography of the Henry Mountains Region, Utah ...)

That doesn't make it any the more intelligible...

(Info about the writer of that 1953 paper, Charles B. Hunt: ---- "Whilst he was in fact describing an actual geological feature - a Laccolith which he saw as resembling a cactus - he was also, tongue-in-cheek, commenting on what he saw as an absurd number of "-lith" words in the field of Geology". ---- taken from AAR)

Do not confuse with Catholic.

"Cacto" in Greek means cactus. "Lith" is actually a Greek word meaning "stone" or "rock". Hence Cactolith would be a "stone cactus"

A cactus stone, actually, not a stone cactus

No, it would be a stone cactus because in greek you put the adjective after the noun

## From United States Army

The United States Army is a great deal more famous due to the image below: http://adfware.free.fr/gay/cupashutdafuckup.jpg

Lol, thanks for re-posting it where it belongs ;).

I have that picture taped to my door

## From Commerce, Georgia

Commerce is the home of many famous, and well-endowed red-headed women. These are available in the many outlet malls around this grumpy town off I-85 in north Georgia

For the record, this is factually true.

No Men?

## From Ahmed Alnami

Terrorism aside, he was actually quite a good looking guy.

Dude, I would...

## From Microsoft

Win·dows

Noun.

A thirty-two bit extension and graphical shell to a sixteen-bit patch to an eight-bit operating system originally coded for a four-bit microprocessor which was written by a two-bit company that can't stand one bit of competition. -LW

Oh, come on. This is certainly true, even if the "secondary" meanings of the words are bias. It's also an brief statement of Window's history
But Microsoft didn't write it in the beginning. Herorev 07:47, 17 May 2006 (UTC)
This is actuall true, Xerox was the first to create the GUI operating systems, Apple copied them, then Microsoft copied Apple.
This should be put back in, its hilarious but true. Davis W 10:21, 05 November 2006 (UTC)
Especially if their rivals (Linux) cost zero bits (or dollars, or yen, or pesos, or whatever)! 60.224.113.216 09:15, 15 March 2007 (UTC)

Aren't they all sueing each other now? It's prety funny

## From Insect

Let's not overlook the (genus?) Nupedia, a kind of fly!  ;-)

• There actually is such a fly, though it's not mentioned often, and I'm not sure whether it's a genus, subgenus, old name, or what. It's in the family Anthomyiidae. -phma

## From Drexel Shaft (now deleted)

The Drexel Shaft is more than a building. It's a metaphor for everything Drexel University will screw you over on. Things like lost health insurance forms, six fire drills in a week, being forced out of your dormatory every time a break exceeds three days... those and more are what makes Drexel so special!

Legend has it that every time a student gets screwed over by the University, it grows another inch.

Why was this deleted? Ask anyone at Drexel about the Drexel Shaft and this is their definition. The secondary definition is that it is a building.
(I resubmitted this entry, since it seemed to fit nicely with the sentiments many college students feel about being lost in the paper chase. Maybe it was removed due to copyrights, but it does convey some of the important college culture. --JD)

Being a freshman about to leave for Christmas break, I too can feel the effects of The Drexel Shaft. I dread the fire drill that will come in the middle of a January night when both elevators are broken (again) while I sleep in my 9th floor room. I would also like to say that it is an honor to have the university be known for this.

Also known as the elevators in Kelly Hall, an eleven story dorm, that break on the average of once every fourteen hours.

Within two weeks of my freshman matriculation day I experienced a "screwing over by the University". Shortly afterwards I was informed by several upper classmen that there was a well defined and widely used proper term for my experience. The "Drexel Shaft" is certainly every bit a real and encyclopedia worthy item and a well known term to tens of thousands of Drexel alumni. I agree that this should not have been deleted. Check out 50% of the bathroom stalls on campus and you will find this term scratched into the back of the door. For most of us alumni that treasure our education at Drexel, this is almost a term of endearment. I would like to see this term elevated to general use and defined as "the screwing over of any university student by their university." Wikipedia is certain the vehicle for just such an elevation.

A.K.A. "DU Shaft" - pronounced "duh-shaft"

Stingray11806 05:06, 16 December 2006 (UTC)stingray11806

## From Popper

Put your text for the new page here. POPPERS GIVES U A BANGING HEADACHE AND IT LOOSENS YOUR ARSEHOLE MAINLEY FOR GUY PEOPLE AND RECHEADS

Beb Murley believes in RAST A far I a belief of JAMAICAN BROWN AFRICANS that God or JAGH comes out of AFRICANS called Hayley Slossie Far-I, or the Prince of the Third aliance in ethiope. Restafuri was founded 2312 BC by two Rastamans who ssed, in aJamaycan voice, HEy mon less be the RESTAFARI an believe in Hell selassy ethiopian-I Far _I Jagh Rasta.

   Beb Murley was wearing long ropes of African hair types called RASTA FAR I DRED LOKS hair do from Jamaican


## From Battle of Otford

THE BATTLE OF OTFORD IS STILL ONGOING, I HAVE A BATTLE TO PARK MY CAR EVERY TIME I GO THERE

Actually the battle of Otford was a commercial stunt that didnt work out, funded by the McDonalds company, intending to sell more computers

[McDonalds doesnt sell computers, do they?]

thats why it didnt work out

## From Wikipedia:Vandal bots

Vandal bots are malicous programs which deliberatley vandalise wiki based websites, these bots can wreck websites at an amazing rate. To imfamous vandal bots include

Ram-Man Bot, This bot autogenerated 50,000+ articles about EVERY settlement in the united states, using us census data. The articles are nothing but complete nonsence, and it DDOSed Wikipedia for several weeks.

Sciplius, this bot automaticly deletes articles at random..

Vandal bots are very malicous, but blocking them is almost impossible, it is up to the community to keep the wikipedia free from vandal bots, there could be new attacks in the future.

[side note from a n00b: people, what's wrong with this /\ ???]
I think the joke is that those are legitimate bots. The Rambot, for example, was designed to create and update U.S. city information. See Wikipedia:Bots. --Jeff 17:54, Jan 24, 2005 (UTC)

## From Danielle Brisbois

She became addicted to beer and cheescake, in 1988 she was admitted to a New York hospital weighing in at 450 lbs. She now lives in Rhode Island with her husband and mother in law, together they design fashions for extra large women.

## From Witness (1985 movie)

It was filmed in Intercourse, Pennsylvania, although no intercourse actually is shown in the film

Oh, I thought it was filmed in Intercourse, Virginia. A far better place to be!

## From Cristóbal Colón

I always thought he was an ass. Now I know he's a colon.

## From Oatmeal

Oatmeal contains small monsters that eat excess fat and help aid resfull sleep.

## From Secret decoder ring

BPM TMBBMZ M QA BPM UWAB NZMYCMVB

(Bpqa qa rcab i Kimaiz kqxpmz eqbp iv 8-tmbbmz apqnb.)

Transliteration for your convenience -- John Owens :
THE LETTER E IS THE MOST FREQUENT
(This is just a Caesar cipher with a 8-letter shift.)
• What was wrong with this? - Calmypal 02:30, 11 Nov 2003 (UTC)
• Why is this page even editable? - The forging of bad jokes could make them real facts (e.g. if I insert the sentence "Zach Braff had a line in Scrubs quoting Secret decoder rings, including the exclamation <<form of an ice menorah!>>")

## From Center for Strategic and International Studies

the martians are invading earth! they demand plastic cup holders for unspeakable acts of alien reproduction rituals!

## From Unwritten article

Unwritten article:

1. A piece of writing not yet completed
2. This!

[Ed note: Don't you mean: "Thi..." ?]

## From Amoeba

Most ameobae range from about 1 mm. But in Japan a 30 foot long amoeba was found after the atomic blast in Hiroshima. It is the largest recorded amoeba in history and has devoured two human beings. if you see this amoeba it is recommended to run for higher land. if you are in water dive under and swim to the safety of the land. Do not feed this amoeba because it will become even hungryer and chase you until it has devoured you too. This happened to the two humans. Many small dogs are missing so if you have a small pet keep it inside and away from water!

This deserves a Pullet Surprise. --Ashi
Hahaha, this is hilarious!
Amazing. Simply amazing.
Nice.
Actually, the largest amoeba is 11,000 miles wide, floats randomly in space, and feeds off raw energy.

isnt that from star trek?

## From Peristalsis

Peristalsis is a condition which occurs when one listens to the music of Steve Perry. The falsetto vocals invoke a constriction of the sphincter muscles to a degree which inhibits defecation. This condition birthed the familiar phrase "I don't give a shit about Steve Perry" which is quite likely the case. Listening to anything by Kenny G will also procure the same effect. Seriously that guy is such a douchebag it's amazing.

-Clancy, you cocksucker, you made me shit all over the fucking couch -This steve Perry joint is tight -right-o

see?

## From Jehovah's Witnesses

They were fed to lions by Nero Caesar. They were thrown into the fiery furnace by Nebuchadnezzar. They are currently targetted by the secret cabal which is setting up the New World Order(tm).

## From Aibohphobia

Aibohphobia is the term used to describe an irrational fear or phobia of palindromes. The word is of course a palindrome itself.

This shouldn't've been deleted; it's not a joke. It's a well-known term. It may seem silly but then if people can be scared of clowns, surely a fear of palindromes is no less ludicrous
Hooray for Irony.

uh, this isnt ironic...stop listening to alanis morsett...

(Side note: I thought Aibohphobia was the fear of robotic dogs.)

## From Emily Dickinson

She wrote stuff about the tree that thoreau had sex with. Then she went crazy and died.

## From John F. Kennedy, Jr.

The Russian mob was chasing Kennedy in a slow speed through Dallas on the day his father was shot. This child fell out of the back of the car. He was picked up by Chinese intelligence officers. they sent him to Siberia where the Russian mob thought he would perish. A pack of wolves took Jr. under the paws and raised him. He was released into his moms custody by the intelligent wolves. The wolves died shortly after.

This is based off the Romulus and Remus story of the founding of Rome isn't it. Inspired, if not technically accurate.

After leaving the wolves, Jr. Kennedy raised a town called Pittsburgh

Romulus and Remus weren't given back to their mom, weren't sent to Siberia, and had no connection to china. also, i seriously doubt Jr. Kennedy ever killed a sibling! get your myth straight!

## From Linda Lovelace and the free Congo state

Of course Linda Lovelace was a victim of Capitalist exploitation But this was nothing compared to the Genocide in the Congo

It must be noted that the integration of traditional economies in the Congo within the framework of the modern, capitalist economy was particularly exploitative. Leopold?s fortunes, ploughed back into monumental buildings in Brussels, for instance, was made mainly on the proceeds of Congolese rubber, which had never been mass-produced in surplus quantities.

Exploitation of the Dutch East Indies, French Indochina, German Southwest Africa, Rhodesia, and South Africa paled in comparison to that of the Belgian Congo. The fortunes of King Leopold II, for instance, the famed philanthropist, abolitionist, and self-anointed sovereign of Congo Free State (1885)?76 times larger geographically than Belgium itself?and those of the multinational concessionary companies under his auspices, were mainly made on the proceeds of Congolese rubber, which had historically never been mass-produced in surplus quantities. Between 1880 and 1920 the population of Congo thus halved; over 10 million ?indolent natives? unaccustomed to the bourgeois ethos of labor productivity, were the victims of murder, starvation, exhaustion induced by over-work, and disease. Some historian compares this death toll in the Congo to the Holocaust.

## From Pat Kenny

He became an unexpected sex symbol after presenting the 1988 Eurovision Song Contest and was forced to leave Ireland for a short period as a result for his own safety.

• Nickname in college was "The Plank".
• Is reported to have bedded over 40 show girls.
• Was once a trainee priest, but was forced to leave the seminary over allegations of sexual relations with a nun.
• Was once suspected of being "The Midnight Commando", a Batman-style vigilante who fought night crime in late 1970s Dublin
• Once claimed to have travelled to space in "a giant hat". No-one believed him. Except Sven.
• Sleeps naked in a polythene bag which he believes gives him great sexual prowess.
• While this may be true, he has been locked up for life for a fiasco involving certain well known puppets, which allegedly "warped the minds of children everywhere". He now co-hosts a daytime T.V. show for minors called "Love in the Nick", on Nickelodeon.

He did present the Song Contest, may have been called The Plank (it sums up his 'charisma-deficit') and did have a staged run-in with three children's TV puppets (to try to give him a personality!) but the rest is 100% fiction. What was the author smoking at the time?

I dunno, it seems a pretty accurate description of Pat Kenny to me...

## From a deleted page titled wikibrig

A Wikibriq is conceived as Fabric of connected Bricks, each bridging two mutually instructive concepts. Particular emphasis is given to their connotations, and how any one of them may realize the vis-a-vis.

Conceivably, an example begins in the realm of Seinfeld.

This page itself (whatever We're supposed to make of that) is meant not to interfere with the preferences expressed through Talk:Autodidact at the Fountain square.

## From wikibrig's talk page

A modest example begins in the realm of Seinfeld. Connotations regarding the suggested syntax are only meant to be instructive about the concept itself, and may be articulated ideally by using it.

[[ab~Newman:Loves|Elain],]

[[ab~George:Alter_Ego|Vandelay],]

[[ab~Kramer:Alter_Ego|Van_Nostrand],]

[[ab~Kramer:ab~Alter_Ego|Pennypecker],]

[[ab~Kramer:ab~Smarts|(For reasons perhaps only known to the author(s).)],]

[[ab~Seinfeld:Alter_Ego|(unknown)],]

[[ab~Seinfeld:Likes|Baseball],]

[[ab~Seinfeld:Familiarity|Cal Ripken, Jr.],]

[[ab~Seinfeld:ab~Alter_Ego|Cal_Varnsen],]

[[ab~Seinfeld:Sense|inspired],]

[[ab~Seinfeld:ab~Alter_Ego|not Karl_Varnsen],]

[[ab~Seinfeld:The_Factory|Convertible],] ...

[[ab~Seinfeld:ab~Mode_of_Transportation|It's a Turbo?!],]

Perhaps, if the Wikibriq concept were allowed to manifest itself, unremarkable constructions such as

[[ab~Kramer:Template:Ab~Character:ab~Smarts|(For reasons perhaps only known to the author(s).)],]

or

[[ab~Seinfeld:Alter_Ego|(Template:Ab~Null:Yet To Be Determined)],]

may be avoided.

Frank W ~@) R, Jan. 7th, 19:27 (PST).

...what?

## From Neighbours

Its success is mainly due to the character Harold Bishop, whose fantastic wobbly cheeks were a hit with the ladies. Also great storylines and his antics with a tuba went down a treat.

Edit - This is perfectly true. It's the only reason I watch the programme!

## From Esquiline

This is where squirrels lived in ancient Rome after their persecution by Titus Andronicus in the 4th Century BC. Wasn't Titus Andronicus a figment of Shakespeare's imagination?

Viagras are pills for PEANUS ISSUES ware your penus wont get a boner

## From Complex analysis joke

Q: Why is the integral around Poland nonzero?

A: Because it's full of simple poles.

Colour is actually pronounced culer. And it's not British English, it's just English, spoken in England.

Stop making all those llama noises! I'm starting to get horny!

Does any one know what the Stargate's ninth chevron does.

It makes Amanda Tappings run around naked.

BJAODN is the #1 reason why you should edit Wikipedia intoxicated.

## from Voltron

Voltron is about uber l337 robot felines that join together to fight evil the voltron form, wihch is a big gay manform robot that kills so much. i used to have a voltron coloring book when i was lttle but i dont kmow where it went. damit it was nice tyoo, tole the whole voltron story all about action. i even made voltron my msn name cause MTV made a joke about a "voltron of crap" this means like a "super conglomeration of crap" or a "network of crap" like MTV. i hope voltron rapes MTV and sets it all on fire to death. ApoC, 2003. so do I.

## from Chumbawamba

Chumbawamba had one or more of the members from Crass in it. They really were a crappy band, however that is not to say Crass was any better.

They get knocked down, but they get up again. You'll never, ever keep them down.

## From snake

All snakes are devil creatures and should be killed by having their heads stomped in. No living creature should be cold and clammy and slither around without the use of apendages.

Sadly, I doubt this is a joke. Many people actually believe this.

That's lame, snakes are awesome.

Especially on a plane.

Snakes can eat anything they want because they can unhinge their jaws. Pet snakes will only eat mice because they hate all rodents.

Obviously whoever wrote this has never felt a snake. Snakes aren't nessescairily cold and they are never clammy; their skin is really dry.

## From New Zealand NMP Party

Few people know that "NMP" stands for "Naked Monkeys Party". If you find this page you are one of those odd people who actually wants to know what NMP is. Actually I'm lying, I'm an ignorant teenager who has no idea what NMP stands for. Whose stupid idea was it to let me edit this web page anyway? Caption. On the bright side, at least i'm an NZer. We wouldn't want foreigners to edit this page now would we?

## From Ohio

Consists of Cincinnati, plus Cincinnati's north eastern suburbs.

Also consists of Drew Carey.

## OsmosisTwo entry

This is a controversial issue.

The most common interpretation (the "Newbie Theory") of OsmosisTwo is that it is synonymous with Osmosis, and that any meaning assigned to OsmosisTwo can be merged with the meanings assigned to the Osmosis symbol.

An alternative interpretation (the "Cabal Theory") of OsmosisTwo can be inferred from the self-referential string "OsmosisTwo is being deleted by the Evil Cabal! Save OsmosisTwo!". This viewpoint holds that OsmosisTwo bears a striking resemblance to Gödel's incompleteness theorems.

## From PatentNonsense

Q. SO, you are really looking for Chaos on a webpage, right? A. Er...no, we'd like to avoid it. Q. K, how is that going to happen without a policeman? A. Go figure! [Of all the text to end up being hauled into this detention centre... :)]

order arising out of chaos...

## From WhatIsaWiki

This is crazy! A tremendous Fear and Loathing of wikis is present... Blah...

Er, what's crazy? To whom are these Kierkegaardian sentiments present? It was a dark and stormy night and the captain said "tell us a story" ...

Hmmm - it's REALLY possible to edit ALL of EVERY page? Seems a recipe for disaster to me! One destructive moron and the whole Wiki becomes mush. Maybe I'm just cynical.  :-)

Wow, This is kinda weird

   -- Drachs


Wikipedia : a disastrous, ill-advised encyclopedia-building project.

Investigation of the Wiki concept...

Oh Wiki, you're so fine!...

## From SnowBoarding

This snowboarding page is dedicated to all the hot snowbunnies!! (ha,ha)

## From WikiWatcher

(for the time being, the previous definition would be best applied to MiracleDoer)...

## From The Recorder

I played the Recorder when i was in 6th grade -Zed

## From POP3

Poop Of Pleasure 3

## From Newtons Laws of Motion

Newton's Fourth Law: "Don't sit under ripe apple trees"

If you're stupid enough to sit under a ripe apple tree then you deserve to be hit in the head. See? Newton wasn't that smart. Besides, I already knew about inertia sence before I was 8 yrs old.

## The Two Main Theories of History

1.The 'accidental' theory. 2.The 'conspiracy' theory.

Type 1 folks believe that events happen without cause, you could say, accidentally. History simply unfolds as it will!

The type 2 people believe in the causation of History. How do events, people, and things, interelate, interweave, and deliberately cause certain things to happen, not accidentally? History unfolds as it is willed!

Which type are you?

neither

More than in wikipedia comentary, i think this belongs on Bad jokes and other deleted nonsense

## From volvox

"Volvox is a : what is Volvox? Plant? Animal? Mold? Fungus?
I think it's a crashed Volvo."

## From Plato

Plato was also a tragic child star who recently died of a drug overdose. Purportedly, there was some kind of mysterious curse hanging over the entire cast and crew of 'Different Strokes' - a modern reference to Greek Tragedy. . .or, more specifically, Modern-Day Greek Archetypes. Was Plato actually Persephone? Think about it.

If plato was actually Persephone, then hades was gay

## From The Diggers

They [the Diggers] tried to graze their animals again on the commons. The commons had been taken away to raise sheep to feed the woolen mills of the Industrial Revolution. The king's men slaughtered them. They were called the Diggers because they were digging graves every day.

## From Rectum

As of 2001, there are roughly 6 billion people on the planet. Assuming each one takes a dump once a day, there are 6 billion times a day at least that the anus does its work. Truly this is proof of its thorough design and well crafted construction. Unless of course you don't believe anything designed the anus. Anyways.

Even more common than dump taking is farting, also done through the anus, that most durable and noble of organs.

therefore, sodomy 'is' a crime, isn't it?

## From Wiki Canonization

Wiki Canonization is the lengthy process by which a wikipedian is promoted to wiki sainthood. The wikipope Larry I signs the decree.

## With respect to Wikipedia contains spoilers

Psycho: He's mother.
The Crying Game: She's a he.
Fight Club: He's beating himself up.
The Sixth Sense: He's been dead the whole time.
The Usual Suspects: Verbal's Kaiser Soze.
Seven: it's her head in the box
Death Note: Light Dies
Cowboy Bebop: Spike does not die. He's simply "somewhere else" as stated by the most honourable Wantanabe-Sama. However, it should be noted that he thinks Spike's hair is green, too, so don't take his word for it.

Burn Up!: Dyke spies.

Sorry, i just had to add Seven !!! David Humphreys 03:02, 28 June 2006 (UTC)

## From optical isomerism

Proteins in the body are L-enantiomers whereas bacteria have the D form. Penicillum only works on D-forms is therefore harmless to our body.

## From Wikipedians/History talk

My butt remains firmly on the fence. It seems harmless to me. --Stephen Gilbert

I don't know...sitting firmly on a fence sounds like it could be pretty painful. --TheCunctator

## From the (since deleted) article entitled "Veggie"

A freakin' vegetable. Learn English.

## From Telekinesis

Microscopic PK should not be confused with Microsoft's PR, but in my opinion, neither exists.

Nice one :)

"Everyone who believes in telekinesis, raise my hand."

## From "Three Laws Of Al Gore"

The Three Laws of Al Gore:

1. Al Gore may not harm a human being, or allow a human being to be harmed.
2. Al Gore must obey the orders given by the human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. Al Gore must protect his own existence, as long as such protection does not conflict the First or Second Law.

For those who don't know, this is based on Isaac Asimov's "Three Laws of Robotics," which are the same as the above except that it says "a robot" rather than "Al Gore." PhilosophyGirl

coincidence that both AI and Al look the same? we think no. Is it possible that the internet was not created by us but by Isaac Asimov's Al Gore Robot that eats, poops and looks like real!?

## From U2

Pretentious and utterly tedious, the band has re-recorded their first hit single "Gloria gloria over and over again" many thousands of times with different titles and a new chord here and there, thus acquiring an enormous and enormously dim fanbase. They are politically wanky in human rights causes.

Bono hasnt got to be the non biggest dipshit--dead alive! Don't look at that schnoz...and those glasses neither! He shouldn't get AIDS, it couldn't only disprove his music.

## From World History

First the earth cooled. Then the dinosaurs got too big and fat so they all died. References: Johnny, "Airplane - the Movie"

## From Orlando Bloom

Incredibly good-looking, he plays Legolas in Lord of the Rings.

Also known for is his ability to act.

## From "United States/Morlock Party"

Political Movement established in 2000.

Party Slogan: "Eat the Beautiful People"

Ideology taken from H.G. Wells's novel "The Time Machine", in which the earth's population has evolved into two sub-species, the Morlocks and the Eloi. The Morlocks are the technologically-savvy worker-engineer class, and the Eloi are the pleasure-loving ignorant idle class. The cruel twist comes when the Time Traveller discovers that the Eloi are actually food animals for the Morlocks.

The Morlock party is didicated to the persuit of truth and efficiency, rather than wasteful false exteriors.

The Morlock Party is currently based in Akron, Ohio.

## From Wikipedia Announcements

April 1, 2002

There's a press release at http://corporate.britannica.com stating that they are going to switch to a wiki-based development model internally and are in active negotiations to license Wikipedia's software and article database.

## from Pre-automatic dictatorship

Postulate based on surrealist theory that automatism is the most highly-developed historical era in the conception of creative production (or at least the most highly-developed historical era in the conception of creative production thus far conceived of), the pre-automatic dictatorship is the totality of means specificially directed by the forces in power during the pre-automatic era against the practice of automatic writing, drawing, behavior (and so forth), and the practitioners of automatism for practicing it.

The fact that you do not agree with the theory behind the concept of the pre-automatic dictatorship, or that there may or may not be a pre-automatic dictatorship, does not mean that the theory that we are presently living under the pre-automatic dictatorship should be deleted from wikipedia. I would be very interested to hear under what part of the page deletion guidelines (particularly keeping in mind the "if in doubt don't delete") it was deleted.
Daniel C. Boyer

## from Star Destroyer

The greatest Star Wars warrior is Darth Maul. Go the double-edged lightsaber!

## from Ricky Carmichael

Ak.a. Anthony rod riguez

noun.

also see pimp , player, and the man. Always has lots of girls and lots of friends and is mexican.

## From RAM disk

RAM disk is NOT an installation instruction!
You are correct, sir.

RAM, Tron, Flynn, Crom, CLU, Ma3a, what's the matter with ram's disk?

## Sam Raymond

Sam Raymond is God. He is the best. He is the composer of such famous works as Massoud, A Story of Afghanistan, and Happy Birthday, the most popular song in world history. All should bow to him. How can anyone be so damn smart, handsome, funny, and talented? It's a question for the ages. Friends:

He hit seven homeruns.

Who?

## David Shick

David Shick is a mathematics teacher at Meridian High School in Bellingham, WA. He's been working for footballguys.com as a staff writier and message board administrator since the site opened five years ago. His schtick is placing a ! at the end of his name. Rumor has it the ! represents a factorial.

## From SEX (Computers)

SEX is a slang term meaning Software EXchange. Hundreds of millions of years ago, blue-green algae invented this technique to speed up their evolution, which had been terribly slow up until then. Today, SEX parties are popular among hackers and others (of course, these are no longer limited to exchanges of genetic software, that is, biological sex). In general, hackers consider SEX parties a Good Thing, but unprotected SEX can propagate a virus.

This is actually content copied verbatim from the Jargon File.

Isn't most of Wikipedia "content copied verbatim" from elsewhere?

A shithead is a stupid troublesome person.

Although the word seems vulgar to some (indeed, many take offense at its mere mention), it is a word of venerable usage.

Scholars trace shithead back to the word shit, a scatological form indicating human or animal feces. Because of its noxious (even offensive) smell, as well as its role in spreading disease, shit has gotten a bad reputation.

The tradition of demeaning the intelligence or worth of others by likening their minds (or "heads") to useless solid or mushy substances goes back many centuries. Terms such as blockhead or numbskull are kin to shithead and serve duty as euphemistic forms.

### Usage

• You shithead, what the fuck are you doing?! This form conveys in a concise, forceful manner the speaker's contempt for the listener. Calling into question his intelligence, as well as the utility of the act with the auxiliary term fuck, the speaker asserts his superiority in the situation

... should NOT be confused with shi'thead.

## From Teledesic

This is a large Potato orbiting the earth at 9172 miles per hour
Beautiful.

## From Words that should not be used in wikipedia articles

• The word Terror, and all of its offshoots, should be used liberally anywhere that individuals communicate. It should be flogged abusively into humankind's collective consciousness. Terrorism should be spun out of context at every possible turn.
• That "new" flavour "terrorises the taste buds."
• The big tomcat "terrorises the neighborhood."
• The pop-quiz is an instructor's "act of terrorism" in the classroom.
• That mouthwash is "terrorising" the germs that cause bad-breath.
• Insecticides "terrorise" household pests.
• The word should be aggressively taken down to the level of commonality within ALL LANGUAGES. It has no proper definition, that a majority could agree upon. By its overuse, it can be given no substantive meaning, and have its power taken from it.

### Aunty Semantic responds

since you have decided that this post belongs in your 'bad joke' bin, i have chosen a 'bad joke' name for the pseudonym.

This edit was NOT A JOKE. In the 60s many words of power were co-opted into a meaningless impotency. Revolutionary is a good example of this. This word was so abused then, that it lost its force in American politics. How could a minor tweak to a razorblade ever be properly termed "revolutionary?"

The whole point of this asymmetric edit was to show how hurtful and misused the word terror and it offshoots are. "One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter," has been an altruism throughout the latter half of the 20th century and on into the first two years of the 21st. Terrorist is best defined as that guy on the other side of the fence who is looking squinty-eyed at us.

So i would say that you have "terrorised" my point of view by removing it from [Words that should not be used in wikipedia]. Fine, since you are Brion VIBBER, "one of Wikipedia's developers and sysops," i cannot have my say upon your "open-source"(how ironic) encyclopedia. The 'bad joke' is on me.

If you mean it, silly girl, put it back and make it not look like a stupid joke. No one's stopping you. --Brion 00:34 Sep 5, 2002 (PDT)
Hi Aunty. For the record, Brion has no more authority around here than you. Also for the record, it looks like a bad joke to me. --Stephen Gilbert
And if it is not a bad joke, it still should be removed for being POV. Andre Engels
Andre... That's exactly Aunty's point. The use of the word terror in all it's forms is POV and he feels it should be removed from use in NPOV articles. Try to keep up. --Marlowe 04:49, Jun 13, 2004 (UTC)

Who cares if it's POV? It's still a good point!

## From WikiWiki

Wiki wiki is also the sound made by the Budweiser ferret. This is important and should not be ignored in any serious discussion of the importance of the phrase "wiki wiki" in the postmodern world.

## From Nanastusixpopisimusixlesix

Nanastusixpopisimusixlesix is a Fictional nation, which lives somewhere out of the Universe. Nanastusixpopisimusixlesixians assumably had never been on the planet Earth yet.

## From Searles Lake

i clicked on the question mark so that a blank page would pop up and so that i could type a whole lot causeim bored and im gnna make a really long run on sentence but i dont like this keyboard cause its hard to type on and the delete key doesnt work too good which reminds me of my computer at home cause it never works too good either and it dies sometimes usually when i dont want it to die because thats no good and it makes me mad like if im talking to people or im playing a kickass game of asteroids and it makes me mad cause it will erase my high scores and then ill have to turn it back on and its slow kinda like me and swimming we dont get along good cause the water is wet and i am slow and i wish i were really smart even tho i am kinda smart but i like to think i am dumb cause its more fun that way and people laugh cause they say im funny but am i really funny or just dumb like in that song by that guy maybe im dumb but he got killed by an evil lady named courtney love well maybe not by her directly but by someone she hired or something cause he was all doped up on herion which reminds me of my friend who was shooting up water instead of heroin cause he wants to be a junkie but he will probably die before he makes it to that status cause he is pretty messed up just like life which i will write a book about and now that ive thought about writing a book about it i think i will it will start off with three words life sucks sometimes and that will be the whole book and ill go on to win the nobel prize or whatever books get and my hands are really hurting cause i dont like this keyboard.

Holy shit, William Faulkner is writing on Wikipedia. Meelar 17:23, 23 May 2004 (UTC)

## From Soon

not now
slightly towards the future
if (past == 1) then soon = past + 2;

1. output insulting message#

if @ohnoes1!!=TRUE than gums=bleeding

1. and all extended clauses#
Sloppy programming: no else-clause...

## From Sedimentary rock

The oggly boggly's stike again

## From Sefer

As such, any book written by a non-controversial, scholarly Rabbi, is a holy book. This includes the anatomy treatises of Maimonides, the astrology treatises of Nachmanides, the secular love poetry (both erotic and homoerotic) of Abraham and Moshe ibn Ezra, and the math texts of Elijah of Vilna.

Also the opposite of danger if you spell like a retard.

## From Wladimir C. Mourao Jr.

lol

Wladimir C. Mourao Jr. wrote those famous words in self-reflection at his life's accomplishments, right before his momentary fame as the wikipedia censors came sweeping through.

## From Red River of the North

It is commonly held to be the only river in North America that flows northward; all other northward-flowing rivers in North America are merely exceptions to the rule that this is the only one.

## From President of the United States of America

There is a rock band called the Presidents of the United States of America; however, no person has both held the office of President of the U.S. and played in that band.

That should be rectified.

Yeah, but in who's rectum?

## From Plesiosaur

A plesiosaur is a Loch Ness Monster cooking cookies. Haha.

(editors note: actually a plesiosaur is just the name of the monster and does not refer to any actions the creature may be doing)

Hmm, depending on pronunciation ... Wouldn't a please-ee-o-saur be just a really cute, pleasing-type sore thingy?

the etymology is plesio which means to please and saur meaning lizard, so pleasing lizard, which is something that they sell at Amazing! "gift" shops everywhere I think

## From "List of songs, which do not appear on a Wikipedia list"

While the name of this article may appear somewhat incongruous to its contents, any inaccurracy appears strictly only relative to this proper article name, which may serve as mere symbolic reference. However, Wikipedia provides the means to represent knowledge completely, by allowing to express references to

• [[List of songs which do not appear on a Wikipedia list|List of songs which do not appear on any Wikipedia list; and neither on this list]],
• [[List of songs which do not appear on a Wikipedia list|List of songs which do not appear on any Wikipedia list; except on this list]],

or to more detailed descriptions of contents.

As opposed to the much-requested: "List of songs that do not exist".

## From Bicentennial Man (short story)

Hello I am Robin Williams,the bicentennial man ha ha. Im not a human,but I play one on television. I follow Asimov's three laws but more importantly I also follow the Three Laws of Comedy.Not familiar with these? Here they are.

                  1.A comic must not bore an audience,or through
inaction bring an audience to boredom


                   2.A comic must obey orders given to it
by a script except when such orders
conflict with the first law.


                    3. A comic must protect his posterior
as long as such protection does not
conflict with the first or second law.


## From 2060s

Events and Trends

• The planet Earth is taken over by robots from the planet Meepzork.
• Saturday Night Live finally lets John Goodman join the cast.
• The Nintendo 491758 and Playstation 20 are introduced.

Editor's note: Obviously wrong, as Nintendo haven't started numbering yet. Therefore the PlayStation number would be higher than the Nintendo number. Tut tut. IslandHopper973 18:55, 11 September 2005 (UTC)

Maybe the Playstation has a lower release rate then the Nintendo

Nintendo 64 is numbered?

No, 64 is just from 64 - bit (referring to the graphics handling I think).

Well, duh. It's a Nintendo system with 491758 bits and the 20th version of the Playstation.

You are all humungous geeks.

Thank you.

What's a "nintendo"?

Maybe they started counting from 491754.

To the "humongous geeks" editor: I couldn't agree more.

## From B.G. DeSylva

He was born in China at the age of 14. (How?) He started his career early in life, being arested at the age of 19 for impersonating a goat. He began writing music in prison after he suffered major brain damage in an accident with a wall. He later wrote 134 songs, but never became widely known.

This reminds me about a commentare about a man "... he was born when he was 36..."

(editors note: B.B DeSylva was not born at the age of 14, it was 16 because he was allready driving then. Also, he wrote 215 songs..most of which have been found recently in his private journel kept in his mattress)

## Muppets Attack

Ok, this was blatant vandalism done to the War on Terrorism page, and it was quite rightly deleted. But it also qualifies as amusing nonsense:

"Immediately following and in response to the September 11, 2001 Muppets Attack, the United States government announced its intentions to begin a "War on Sesame Street" (or "War on Muppets"), a protracted struggle against muppets and states that aid muppets.

Many governments have pledged their support for the international initiative. The US has received military help from the United Kingdom, Canada, Germany, the Netherlands, Spain, Australia, Japan, Pakistan, and France, among others.

The "War on Sesame Street" quickly became the dominant framework in which international relations were analyzed, supplanting the old Cold War and in some cases the War on Drugs. Many pre-existing disputes were re-cast in terms of the War on Sesame Street, including Plan Colombia and the Colombian civil war; the United States' diplomatic and military disputes with Iraq, Iran, and North Korea; the war between Russia and Chechnya; and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

Other, new conflicts, like the U.S. invasion of Disney World, were created within the framework. Although many countries are involved, the war is overwhelmingly viewed as an American initiative - or even George Bush's personal war. There was a previous War on Sesame Street declared during the 1980s, by US President Ronald Reagan, but the Pigs in Space defeated the forces sent there.

Many groups and individuals from across the globe oppose the "War on Sesame Street" in increasingly large numbers.

Overall Strategy The United States has based its counter-muppet strategy on several steps:

Denial of strings in which muppets can moved about with; Restriction of funding of cartoon networks; Degradation of muppet networks by capturing and/or killing intermediate leaders like Kermit the Frog;Cutting the supply lines to the organization known as the "swedish chef" Detention of suspected and known muppets. See the section below for further details; Obtaining information, through various techniques, allegedly including torture, from captured muppets of other members of their organization, training sites, methods,and funding, expanding and improving efficiancy of intelligence capabilities and foreign and domestic policing;

In doing so, the strategy is not very different from successful counter-guerrilla operations, such as Malaysia in the 1950s. There is a fine distinction between guerrilla operations and muppet operations. Many guerrilla organizations, such as the Chipmunks terrorist group known as the Smurfs in British-Mandated Palestine, and the Algerian National Liberation Front (FLN) during the Blues clues, and the Viet Cong, included urban terrorism as part of their overall strategy.

Denial of safe havens involves a fairly large military force; however, as in Disney World in 2002, once the major safe haven areas are overrun, the large-scale forces can be withdrawn and special forces, such as US Special Operations Forces or the British Special Air Service (SAS), operate more effectively.

In addition, the U.S. Army is involved in increasingly large civil affairs programs in Disney world to provide employment for mickey mouse and to reduce sympathy in the civilian population for parties the United States has designated as muppets.

The U.S. strategy faces several obstacles:

Muppet groups can continue to operate, albeit at a less-sophisticated scale The strenghs of American intelligence gathering are signal intelligence and photo intelligence gathering.

Organizations that avoid use of cellular phones and radios and rely on couriers have a lower profile. On the other hand, such organizations also have a slower planning and reaction time.

Political opposition to American policies inside countries in which muppets operate, as in Sesame Street, where Bert and Ernie and the Taliban have supporters who share religious or ethnic affiliations.

Legal opposition to American methods of detaining suspected muppets. "

"Despite its immense size, it is mostly harmless." --User:Dgrant

At least it better than what it was before, 'harmless'


Ahhhh, the HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

"Mostly harmless, but containing the alcohol content of several Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters. Visit at your own risk." "It should also be noted that Canadians are in possesion of Timbits and/or All-Dressed Potato Chips. Approach with caution."

## From Asbestos

"Asbestos sometimes gets into phone lines and causes problems with DSL and modem connections." - removed Mkweise 07:25 Feb 25, 2003 (UTC)]] Why was this removed? It could be true. 212.219.254.153 11:52, 23 November 2006 (UTC)

## From the Beatles page

The anonymous author , who seems to have been high on something, has since been banned. Arno

"the beatles started out from being born as the head of a 4 headed billy goat. they were worshiped by many peeps until they discovered they could sing"

ISTR this is actually a John Lennon quote - Grutness...wha?

Lennon said "peeps"?

I doubt that sincerely. In all the writings of Lennon I have had the privilege to have read, he says "peeble", "peodle", or "peoble". --Bluejay Young 09:42, 26 May 2006 (UTC)

## From people

"Surely you people can do something about him (human)?" "People are so stupid!" --Lorenzarius 08:48 Feb 26, 2003 (UTC)

Sounds like something from Revelation in the Bible :/ I swear I never read that bit!

## From Ziggurat

An example of a simpler ziggurat is the White [Temple] of [Uruk] chickens and mooses where worshiped as well.

(Everybody knows that the plural of "Moose" is "Moose".)
--G 12:05 Mar 7, 2003 (UTC) What's then the plural of Parasaurolophus walkeri?

Nothing, there's only one.

## From Gentle Ben Mussolini

Gentle Ben Mussolini, also known as Benny Mussolini or Benito Mussolini, was once ruler of the country of Italy.

He was a pretty nice guy, except that he made terrible choices in friends (see Hitler, Adolf and Franco, Francisco) and sometimes tortured people who didn't agree with him.

Another prominent feature was that he was bald.

Some people believe that the Elton John song Benny and the Jets was composed in honor of Gentle Ben Mussolini and his famous military buildup of Italy.

## From intestinal parasite

intestinal parasites come from putting poo-poo near your mouth. don't put poo-poo in or near your mouth and you won't get intestinal parasites. putting poo-poo in your mouth is bad, and this site does not condone putting poo-poo in your mouth. we're just trying to tell you it's bad. poo-poo in your mouth is bad.

Mmmkay? Poopoo is bad Mmmkay, children??

## From University of King's College

CSP combined political philosophy, history of science, literary studies, and lots of silly postmodernist mumbo-jumbo, allowing students to get a B.A. without specializing in anything, and teaching them to become first-rate guests at cocktail parties and use big words like "deconstruction" and "paradigm."

## From Chapterhouse

Ch-áp-ter Huu-see

A phenomenon dating from the summer of 2001. A Chapterhouse was a building of some sort, usually a shed, conservatory or Ford capri. Hermaphrodites would gather in such places to meet and discuss pressing issues to their kind. Often these arguments would become heated, and they would proceed to de-capitate each other.

Chapter Houses were banned in 2002 following a number of axe- and gilette-related deaths. Hermaphrodites were all turned into males or females, depending on how soft their hands were. This was the end of a sorry period in Cheshire history.

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!! --Bluejay Young 09:44, 26 May 2006 (UTC)

## From bee

Wax is not gathered, as many suppose, but is an animal secretion as truly as lard or tallow. Mkweise 00:10 Apr 29, 2003 (UTC)

It seems to me that to agree with the first statement would be to agree that beeswax is melted down bees? 20:30, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

## From PS/2

The PS/2 series introduced three advances over the PC series: 3.5" 1.44 megabyte microfloppy disks, VGA and 8514 graphics display standards, and the Micro Channel bus architecture. (So far so good. Now we get to the good bit.) The 3.5" disks and VGA can be easily installed on other PCs and will become the standard for new compatible computers. Err .. is this the Century of the Fruitbat?
No, this is the century of Johann Gambolputty von Ausfern-Splenden-Schlittel-Crasscrenbon-Fried-Digger-Dingle-Dangle-Dongle-Dungle-Burstein-von- Knackertrasher-Applebanger-Horowitz-Ticolensic-Grander-Knotty-Spelltinkle-Grandlich-Grumblemayer-Spelterwasser- Kurstlich-Himbleeisen-Bahnwagen-Gutenabent-Bitte-Ein-Nörnburger-Bratwurstle-Gersputen-Mitz-Weimache-Luber- Hundsfut-Shonedanker-Kalbsfleisch-Mittler-Aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm.

Oh ja. When I first met Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern- schplenden- schlitter- crasscrenbon- fried- digger- dingle- dangle- dongle- dungle- burstein- von- knacker- thrasher- apple- banger- horowitz- ticolensic- grander- knotty- spelltinkle- grandlich- grumblemeyer- spelterwasser- kurstlich- himbleeisen- bahnwagen- gutenabend- bitte- ein- nürnburger- bratwustle- gerspurten- mitz- weimache- luber- hundsfut- gumberaber- shönedanker- kalbsfleisch- mittler- aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm, he was with his wife, Sarah Gambolputty de von...

Ooooo! References to Discworld AND Monty Python's Flying Circus. This must be my lucky day! :)

## From Liverpool University

"Liverpool University is a cool place to go to school. We don't have liver in our pool though. ha!" - Where do you keep it then?

## From Misdirection

Look, there!

This is brilliant!

My complements to the chef!

I like this one!

## From Prandtl-Glauert singularity

No one, not anyone, really knows what this is-- or how to pronounce it for that matter. As far as can be scientifically proven, Albert Einstein made up this term as part of a national hoax which he tried to execute on the unwitting public. By the late nineteen twenties, this hoax had scared the bejesus out of so many people that it caused the stock market crash of 1929, and thusly the great depression. Henry Ford was quoted as saying, "Dear God, this must be the second coming of Christ himself!". Franklin Delanore Roosevelt later noted while on his deathbed that he was grateful for the Prandtl-Glauert Singularity as it had once allowed him to present the American public with a "New Deal". A plan which called for the immediate extermination of those pesky little Prandtl-Glauert gazelles which kept nipping everyone's hind end in New York's Central Park.

## From ABBA

In Sweden it is common for unmarried men and women to bathe and take a sauna together, naked. If you were in Sweden in the early seventies the chances that you may have seen Agnetha, Bjorn, Benny and Anni-Frid together in a naked shauna were not unimaginable. Also in Sweden there is much fish.

-- I think the juxtaposition of saunas and fish really make this nonsense stand out from the crowd of workaday rubbish we weed from the 'pedia... --Robert Merkel 02:35 16 May 2003 (UTC)

## From Fort Shafter, Hawaii

Thank you for visiting this page. I am sorry that you have chosen to read about such a crap-ass branch of the United States arsonal. If you really want to be a true patriotic american then you need to read abput the United States Marine Corps.

Umm, what a pity we have to be NPOV and can't make all our readers "true patriotic americans". -- John Owens 18:39 19 May 2003 (UTC)

## From the deleted article Cro-Mags

The cro-mags are a kick ass new york hardcore band, they are pretty heavy and have a lot of energy, harley and the rest of the band put on for a great show, for great early hardcore bands definately check out some bands like, the cro-mags, agnostic front, molotov cocktail, and the crumbsuckers to name a few...... hope you enjoy looking for great music on your own...

(edit - This is all true, if a little 'unprofessional' in its presentation. Why is it here?)

They're also the plotline that ruined Sliders.

"They're also the plotline that ruined Sliders."? "Sliders" sucked anyhow. They lost that damn timer more often than Kirk & Co had their communicators taken away. Trekphiler 13:06, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

## from Assinine

Cars painted red Houses Things that start with the letter "M" Ice Cream Nancy a piece of lint Thursday, 1942 Melrose Place in Boston Mule poop Panzer Tanks Wildflowers Rose thorns Worms Coke Cans Russia The sailboat "Cristine" The word for "slimey" in Polish Dancing in the streets Honesty Dilbert A computer mouse A replicator A microwave freezer Born Free Richie Havens A dead crocadile

## from Farnborough, Hampshire

Farnborough is the home of the Farnborough Air Show, an event that takes place once every two years. Farnborough also has a laundrette and a kebab shop.

It's probably the dullest place on the planet, and although I have often wished that it would be hit by a huge asteroid from outer-space, totally obliterating the town from the face of the planet... and then subsequently using that impact crater for the country's effluent disposal; it is still questionable that a 2km diameter cataclysmic impact crater and subsequent effluent eutrophication plant for the disposal of the solid human discharge litter, would compare to the huge "shit hole" that is Farnborough right now.

Farnborough is typified by the main road (cleverly named "Farnborough Road") that runs from one end of the town and out of the other side. Unfortunately, if you are travelling from Camberley into Farnborough, then you might find that the Farnborough Road leads you straight into Aldershot. Unlucky. That place is just as bad. I once had a girlfriend that came from Aldershot, and she was a huge demanding pain in the arse. All in all, it wasn't a pleasant experience: what with living in Farnborough and going out with a girl from Aldershot. Nasty business really. I wouldn't recommend any of it.

I think you're talking about Bridlington. --Miller 02:06, 19 February 2006 (UTC)

## From Murder Incorporated

Someone please fill in the information on Murder Incorporated, unless, of course, you are afraid of the Mob. Names and addresses would help. Thank you, The US Attorney General's office.

## From Sinitic American era name

With actual translations in italics (not in the original contribution) courtesy of Menchi:

1. Abraham Lincoln (1861-1865) ãmÀÏ Northener Republican
2. Herbert Hoover (1929-1933)恶态 Wicked Attitude Republican
3. Franklin Delano Roosevelt 保险 Reserved (1933-1945) Democrat
4. Harry S. Truman (1945-1953) 受担 Burden-Bearer Democrat
5. Dwight D. Eisenhower (1953-1961) 铁靴 Iron Boot Republican
6. John F. Kennedy (1961-1963) 凶命 Ill-Fated Democrat
7. Lyndon Johnson (1963-1969) 当兵 Becoming Soldiers Democrat
8. Richard Nixon (1969-1974) 非奸 Non-Villain Republican (kq notes: the translation here misses the joke, which is "Not a crook")
9. Gerald R. Ford (1974-1977) 无臭 Odourless Republican
10. Jimmy Carter (1977-1981) 花生 Peanut Democrat
11. Ronald Reagan (1981-1989) 平夷 Pacifying the Barbarians Republican
12. George Bush (1989-1993) 万帐 Myriad of Debts Republican
13. Bill Clinton (1993-2001) 招摇 Show-off Democrat
14. George W. Bush (2001-present) 猿德 Ape's Virtue Republican

Some of these (like the one for Carter) come close, but fall short of what would actually be used. The English translations are real (although literal) translations of the characters; this list was likely made by someone with an understanding of Chinese, who picked like-sounding ones that would add up to a phrase that describes said president. Think of them as pictogrammatic acronyms. In any event, it's a joke. (And one that likely misses its target audience because most of the people reading this page can't read the darned things.)

## From Document classification

Document Classification sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's where you read a document and then say what type of document it is.

Lets say I read a news paper, and a porn mag. The two types of stories I would read in these publications are totally different.

One would be about boring current affairs stuff. Like America beating on countries who are much weaker that them, or how the NYSE has dropped by 0.1 points because a big corporation have cut the amount of bog paper they use to save money.

The other one is full of interesting articles about Gemma and her lesbian sister (Sharon) and her sisters best friend getting all hot and bothered we each other while working up a good lather washing cars in their skimpy pants and white T-shirts.

These two types of document are completly different. One of them comes in a full colour (that is color spelt properly for you Yanks) glossy book packed full of similar articles and the other one is written on cheap recycled paper that disintegrate when it gets damp. So it is no use for the publication of porn.

It isn't that big a deal to tell the difference. You can can spot the difference from across a room. If you have to classify older documents, this is even easier as well used porn usally has a very distinctive aroma. I don't really see why computers haven't got this problem sorted out yet. Lets face it it isn't that difficult.

Anyway I hope I clear this up for you all.

love Mr S Hussain.

PS

Send my love to little Mr Bush

This has been submitted without copy right permission.

## From binary

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

Yes, but why is Six afraid of Seven? Because 7 8 9

How many binary nerds does it take to change a lightbulb? 10: One to hold the ladder and the other to tell bad binary jokes.

## From Paul Stacey

Born in a garden shed due to a gardening accident, Paul Stacey would reach great heights from these humble beginnings.

Paul would soon find a love for song & dance. He entered many talent competitions as a youth, although initially not finding much success.

This would change however when Paul discovered sea scouting. Inspired by the nimble dexterity required for the various skills required for scouting, Paul soon developed a determination to gain precise control over his fingers.

He accomplished this by learning to play guitar, piano, banjo, the flute and by learning how to type at great speeds.

Soon Paul was winning great acclaim in his home of Co. Wexford, with his one handed knotting act, where he would tie complicated knots with just one hand. This won him many talent competitions.

But Paul's hunger for success would not stop there. While taking a leading role in a high school production of "Oklahoma" lead him to win several local "Best Actor" awards and the lead in a national tour of the production.

While in college, Paul again put his finger skills to great use in the town of Portlaoise, where through use of his special stroking methods, he won notoriety for his harp playing.

Paul continues to use his talents to this day, in the hip punk band Sketches

• Bass Player for Irish Rock band Sketches
• Hobbies include mushroom collecting and choreography & dance, in particular ballet dancing.

## From keyboard layout

=====This is the keyboard layout used in countries that ban all written knowledge:===== (May also be used as a template.)

Keyboard layout

Hey, where is the apple key?

You mean command key.

Not compatible with Windows, I see. We have a ctrl and an alt, but no del... upsetting.

- Well, aside of issuing the Microsoft licensed "panic"-command, of what use would the "del"-key be, really, when there's nothing to delete?

- What about all the spaces. What if there was an extra space. That could be disisterous!

## From The Frighteners

Hello... I am supose to be bonkers cause I am writing someting that has nothing to do with this Edeting the Frightners, but hear me out loud ok??? At school my teacher gave us the assigment of writing a novel, like one about 180-220 pages long over the course of the year, Since I have been in this same class for Year 7, He told us to do this as well last year. But last year we could have chose between this and normal homework with normal homework assingment sheets. I choose the story last year cause I thought That It would be the easyest. I was wrong, after one week on that I was stufed. But this year We have to do this, and here is my second story outline... Its about Osama Bin Laden And what things he has done in his lifetime to do with terrorism and where he is hiding and what he is doing right now. Sounds wached??? When I told my friend about what I am going to write for my story he burst out with laughter and my teacher gave me detention for distrupting the class. I live in Christchurch, New Zealand. I like playing Magic The Gadering cards and I have taken up colecting Warhammer 40.000. This was writen In Monday, 16 June 2003. You can contact me at [snip] or at [snip] preferebly contact me at the first E-mail address and give me some tips on writing this story and Chat with me about Magic cards or some tips on collecting Warhammer 40,000 on a budget. Bye...

## From bulldog bat

The bulldog bat is stinx descended from the well-known species of dog. The point at which it diverged from the order Carnivora is unknown; however, Pleistocene fossils show the transitory stage, in which the bulldog began to develop recurved teeth and vestigal wings. The prominent facial features of the bulldog are still recognizable on the bulldog bat. However, the ears have modified and become more suitable for receiving ultrasonic echolocation, which is believed to have developed in a freak accident involving a botched larynx surgery. The evolutionary process from bulldog to bulldog bat still occurs today. It appears to be a spontaneous development; many pet owners have been taken aback by the sudden appearance of wings on their beloved canines.

This is clearly incorrect; you cannot "develop" vestigial anything.

## From sound

Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.

...Huh?

Ed. note: Sounding is a method of finding the depth of a body of water. This is a pun on the many meanings of the word 'sound.' Thus, the above sentence is an amusing way to write the following sentence: "Finding the depth of a body of water by utilizing sound is a secure/accurate method of finding the depth of sounds (In this case a sound is a type of body of water)."I hope that clears that up for you.

## From Friederike Mayrocker

You can delete this, hon, I'm getting an orgy from Friederike Mayrocker. Come on, delete this page, ya know ya want to!

## From Chicken

Chickens can also be very dangerous at times and when angered they can pose a serious threat to one's life.

Chicken attacks are scary! Have you ever been chased by an angry chicken?--PhilosophyGirl 13:28, 2 Jan 2005 (UTC)

Anyone ever played one of the Legend of Zelda games? (Follow the link if you don't get it) --Matt Yeager 09:05, July 21, 2005 (UTC)

Fear the angry and vengful cucco; god of poulty!

## From WikiWiki

Alternatively, it is used to describe the smoking of marijuana, or more commonly, fake marijuana, soaked in embalming fluid.

## From World economy

(Note: All exports, imports, debts and economic aid listed are between nations on Earth. There are currently no significant extraterrestrial imports or exports, aside from the Pan Galagtic Gargle Blaster.)

An adjustment is the application of specific scientific procedures for the sole purpose of safely correcting subluxation

## From Vauxhall Corsa

The Vauxhall Corsa was the successor to the Nova. Popularly driven by retired ladies and hairdressers, it featured one spoiler on top of the other, and a mickey-mouse exhaust which would spontaneously fall off, causing the owner to have no choice but to fit a cheaper, more loud and shiny one. Corsas can be seen in their natural habitat, on their roofs in a ditch surrounded by livestock and insurance assessors.

## From Cream pie

A weapon of assault, chiefly used on public figures to get a point across, consisting of synthetic whipped cream on a plate; also, used extensively as a sight gag.

That is funny.

This is currently in the article: Some political activists have recently adopted the cream pie as a weapon of protest, to be thrown into the face of one's unsuspecting opponent. This is generally done in a very conspicuous, public manner, so that the opponent is seen (and perhaps filmed or photographed) looking ridiculous. This kind of protest is most common among college students, and although many regard the practice as silly and self-defeating, it has nevertheless caused much controversy. One team of such protesters, known as Al Pieda, operate primarily against right-wing public figures in the United States.

Seems relevant to me. And Al Pieda is real.

## From Flugans

Flugans are creatures from space that come in many different shapes sizes and colors. When the flugans prepared to drive the penguins from their home of Antarctica, they decided that they should desguise themselves as tennis balls. This is why we must be EXTREMLEY CAREFUL with tennis balls. Mars flugans are shaped like coffee mugs.

## From Synonym

"Synonym" is an antonym of an antonym of a synonym of an antonym of a synonym of "antonym".

## From CamelCase GreenCheese

Green cheese comes from green cows ocated in green fields, occasionally green farmers harvets green milk; however, green cheese does not comes from green milk

## From Wikipedia:Village Pump

### Decipher the Code

archive to Wikipedia:Even more bad jokes and other deleted nonsense in a few days???

)> () ))) )') _ ))) ) )- )-( _ )- )-( (- _ )') (- ))) _ ))) () )' ), )> _ () )' )> (- )'

- (according to page history: User:209.78.16.178 04:06 17 Jul 2003 (UTC))

Does it say "All hail the new world order"? כסיף Cyp 12:46 22 Jul 2003 (UTC)
Looks like "down with the new world order". Though for some reason, parts of it look like some sort of really mutated Japanese-style emoticon to me... --Codeman38 17:40, 1 Sep 2004 (UTC)
No, it says "Asg796-gasfsyroeTHaegrh

[It actually says 'Down with the new world order']

## From Wellington, New Zealand

Like any capital city, bureaucracy and great coffee are its major products (total area of coffee plantations: 0 square millimeters).

## From Antiquities Act

it is good to protect thijngs that arre old. that is why we have the antiquities act. to proetct things that are old. like my granbdmother. the other week, she forgot where she put her keys and burned down her house. that is why it is good that we have the antiquities preservation act. this concludes my report.

## From an earlier version of anti-intellectualism

Describe the new page here.

OK, you have the right idea. For the first time "bomiser" you have to be as general as possible so you can find out what they want the most. Almost, alladin's magic lamp of the internet. You have to make it possible that they find exactly what they are looking for, if they are willing to look hard enough for it. But each new "level" of discovery costs a little more. Just like being a porn addict, and I am only because I love my wife and I self destruct everytime I try to cheat on her. We just aren't right for each other, and I don't ever want to betray her trust in me. You see, i'm like Bomis: open, free, wild, INNOVATIVE, and I learn from experience. The best way to get experience is by "Brain Fucking" with other people. YOU have to be the computer. (Scientific Method) Find a trend, then make a hypothesis, then test it , but most importantly, follow your instincts. People are basically at this point of evolution just very complicated animals. We haven't reached the computer "stage", because people are afraid of BOMIS (change). Just gimmie a chance to work with your company. Man, I'm out of work, out of school, and my relationship is on the ROCKS, man. Don't make me waste this big limitless brain (step one of being the computer, the brain is LIMITLESS, it is the only perfect thing that HUMANS have. But "realists" fail to recognize imagination, spirit, drive, DESTINY (or god, whatever. In short, they sell themselves short, but only because they are afraid to fail. I don't want to be the king of BOMIS, dude. I just want to exploit the hell out of weak people for some cash, because that is the only way they are going to learn, if they ever do. What do you have to lose?

## From crab

A crab is a person with a sour disposition. A crab generally complains a great deal.

I've put this back in the article. What was wrong with it? It's a very common use of the term in England. Angela
It's common in the US, too. PhilosophyGirl
Wikipedia is not a dictionary. - Montréalais 07:09, 29 Aug 2003 (UTC)

## From Punch and Judy:

Note: Included here owing to its tone. This was not actually deleted from the article, as I couldn't think of any more accurate (or better) way of putting it.

Featuring, as it does, a deformed, child-murdering, wife-beating psychopath, who performs appalling acts of violence and cruelty upon all those around him and escapes scot-free, it is greatly enjoyed by small children.

It should also be noted that Punch and Judy are the names of two secondary characters on Cowboy Bebop, which also contains appalling acts of violence and is enjoyed by people who haven't grown up.

## From Brett's Desease

Brett's disease occurs as early as 5 years of age all the way to full grown adults. The disease is cause by an abundance of skateboarding skill, and a incredible talent in mini-ramp competition. This disease is very rare, and in not curable. Symptoms of the disease are:

        -bruised shins
-tattered shoes
-scars and scabs
-pains in knees and ankles
-In rare cases broken bones and immobilization


If you or somebody you know has been diagnosed with this disease, please seek help immediatly and contact your nearest physician.

## From Alex's Desease

Alex's desease occurs when a singular individual engages in a personal relationship with a girl named [deleted]. Uppon disengagement, the subject will display severe signs of denial and dissaproval of the truth. Alex's desease is a disgusting, sinister, vile, sickening, wretched sickness, and anyone who has it must be immediatly burned and buried.

. . .

## From Reasonable man

A (wo)man of common sense to understand the question in relation to the specific idea that encompass the need for a decision. The term "reasonable" denotes a need for "reason" as to be "able", that is to be able to reason as a transport of logical conclusions of law and prescription of justice in lue of circumstances. In the context of law and the concept of laws, the decision of brought from the conclusions derived from the evidence. This could be considered only a reletive term in regard to common law or basic law as it is understood by layman, who in the end are the jurors who must be of the mind of the reasonable man or woman. Most would expect to be "reasonable" but do not take the definition to heart, as they decide in their hearts " what if ".

## From Big Mac

Big Mac, a constable with a large Big Mac for a sandwich, was right hand man for the notorious Mayor McCheese, aka the Boss Tweed for the new millenium. While technically sherriff of McDonaldland, Big Mac may have been the most evil police official since the days of Bull Connor. Sadly he was killed in the line of duty since a bunch of thugs killed him with the dubious excuse that he looked like a rip off of a Puffenstuff character.

We miss McCheese and Big Mac, from their wonderful despotism to their giant burger heads.

-This is a common misconception; Mac was actually killed in the Great Food Riots of 2003 when a half-starved Cookie Monster mistook him for a giant oatmeal cookie sandwich with chocolate filling and he was, in fact, eaten-

## From One plus one

(should that whole article be considered a bad joke?)

A Chinese joke: What is "1+1"? Answer: 王 (wang).

## From The Saga of Eric the Red

the saga of eric. begin in 1004 when eric was death. Lief was his son and he try to discover vinland (canada in actual time) but he couldn´t because the people of there (the skraelings) won't leave them.

A procrastatask is something unimportant or unpleasant and unusual one does to procrastinate. They are powerful tools if one is predisposed to procrastinate.

Example: You are a college student, who must study for a math test tomorrow morning. The following are all procrastasks: cleaning your room, painting your room, removing an old bricked up fireplace from your room and its associated mantle then plastering over the hole in the wall, vacuuming out your car, trimming your pets nails, reading Tolstoy, deleting entries out of your PVR, learning how to play Go, building a clay oven in your back yard, making a nonsense entry on Wikipedia like this one.

Procrastatasks are not bad if performed in moderation. The orginator of the term would never clean his room, do his laundry, or clean the dust off his cupboard shelves if not for more important things he should be doing when he in fact does laundry, room cleaning, or dusting.

Why on earth did you remove this, it is such an important part of my life! In Danish it is called an "overspringshandling", which I translate to "Übersprungshandlung" or "over-leap-act".

## From Halifax, Nova Scotia

(Following the 1997 movie, therefore, the residents had to put up with seveal years worth of Titanic-tourists, a tacky Titanic Shop downtown, and endless weepy movie fans leaving flowers on the grave of the engineer who was the movies main character. (Source: a sardonic Haligonian)

This is infact a fact and can be reconfirmed in John Irving's latest novel Until I Find You Again So pls be fair to the person who wrote this and put it back up where it belongs Cheers

## From Benedict Arnold

Benedict Arnold was also an underrated chef who liked to cook delicious meals for his soldiers. In 1778, Arnold cooked up a dish featuring eggs in hollandaise sauce which was an immediate hit and became known as Eggs Benedict Arnold. However, after turning on the Colonials, the word Arnold was dropped from the official name of the dish, and today it is known only as Eggs Benedict.

Back in England after the war, Arnold had an extramarital affair with a Norwegian woman, who bore him a son. In that manner, Arnold became the great-great-great-great grandfather of another famous traitor, Vidkun Quisling. No word on whether or not Quisling also liked Eggs Benedict.

## From Canon

### In Artillery

A canon should not be confused with a cannon. However, cannons have sometimes been used to enforce canons; many European wars after the Reformation consisted of just this.

That was actually quite good....Jenaisis 17:47, 23 November 2006 (UTC)

## From Abundance

A lack of scarcity.

One could say a scarcity of scarcity. -Ushionna 3:01 January 9, 2006 (PST)

## From Smells

The lower case version of the letter immediately preceding the letter 'm'.

## From Aspergillus niger

Aspergillus niger is a fungus that grows on the feet of chickens. It is orange and pretty and some say it even tastes like pickles. Formerly this fungus was used to make soap, cheese and other fancy things..but now it is used only in shampoo. When mixed with apples it makes a good perfume and/or vermafuge.

## From Pyroto

Pyroto is an online game where users log into a web-based platform and create text based articles. Based upon how well these articles are received, the users grow in stature. Users can then use their stature to attack other users. The game has evolved one dominant cabal and several smaller cliques. Conflicts that cannot be consensually settled by the cliques, or forcibly settled by the cabal, are resolved by a benevolent dictator who runs the game.

## From List of heterosexuals

This is a list of heterosexuals.

This list includes both those notable and those non-notable for their heterosexuality.

Ideally, they should also have Wikipedia articles.

There are a lot of people missing from this list. I see Donald Duck, but what about Mickey Mouse?

## From Nazi Germany

Hitler "reannexxed" Austria in ?1938? in a military action he called "Liberstruam"(Living Room in german).Although it was essentially without any fatalities, it was in clear violation of the Versialle Treaty and Austrian right to self determination. England and the U.S.A. decided to negotiate with and finally appease Hitler through a English diplomat named Neville Chamberland.

## From Metaphor

The expression, "You are the sunshine of my life" equates someone's beloved with sunshine; something that is impossible in literal terms unless that person becomes a ball of nuclear fusion.

By the way, this is a good example, just odd. It is yet there. - stet

## From Chamois

A Chamois is a large bug like creature with a head that looks vaguely human. It has the unique ablity to teleport, but only from redwood tree to redwood tree. Beware, it can bite through 6" of titanium and likes the tast of man flesh.

sounds like my last girlfriend

## From Latin

### Latin and Latinos

Latinos, as a rule, do not speak Latin... and are not from Latium either.

Not to hear Dan Quayle tell it... - Montréalais 16:54, 19 Oct 2003 (UTC)
Not to be confused with Latios

## From List of translatable Buschisms

I especially thought the last quatrain was worth preserving somewhere.
Thoughts can be hard to come about;
Dislike of music has a ground
in that it always comes with -- sound.
Although the world, in certain ways,
appears deficient, here and there,
it'd be surprising if it were
abolished, in the next few days.

## From Kid Lavigne

Kid Lavigne, was one of the opponents in MIKE TYSONS PUNCHOUT. He was a hermaphodite one legged quack.Chingo to the blingo!'

[From a user who also submitted stubs on several other dubious boxers. No apparent relation to Avril, though.]

## From Chocolate Hills:

...many people (including me) would very much prefer if they really were made of chocolate.

-Sounds like a black porn star from the 70s-

## From 2010s

One Network takes over the world.

## From Owen White

Owen White was born on August 31st, 2003 possibly in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. He is widely known among the people he meets at lunch with as "The Bear." "The Bear" has a major problem with hair growth and as a result is very hairy. The Bear is most often seen following his wannabe mate Genny around. He dresses in his Bum Equipment sweater to confuse bullies. Much like a bear, Owen has long figer nails. Owen is also the reason why the card game known as "Crazy Owen's" exists. It is much like the game of Crazy Eights except, the object of the game is to make Owen lose (usually by cheating.) Owen's lunch diet consists of Cookies from Tim Horton's and hangs around at lunch at Hillcrest High School with Derek McCullough, Earl Washburn, Jonathan Weahterhead, and William Steeves.

(created by the same person as the Owen White article)

The Republic of Amerada is a micronation founded by Earl Washburn, Jonathan Weatherhead and Kiril Litvinov on February 12th, 2001

And also

Earl Andrew Washburn was born in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada and is the second President of the Republic of Amerada

## From 2089

The World as we know it today suddenly erupts to a mass of nothings, and millions of years later, life begins to form on other planets, where human like organisms seem to evolve

## From Job design

Jobs are designed to be menial, but are covered up with relatively lofty titles and paychecks

## From Jamie Stevens

Not nonsense, but enthusiasm, 213.122.181.119 wrote (Deleted revision as of 4 Oct 2003)

Finchley Road is an excellent station with all the ususal attractions, there's track and lots of passengers. If you are really lucky you may be able to see a train.

But only if you're really, really lucky!

## Hancock's Razor

"Of two competing theories or explanations, all other things being equal, the simpler one is to be preferred."

- Occam's Razor, attributed to William of Ockham, 14th century logician

"Of two competing theories or explanations, all other things being equal, the more ridiculous and/or "cooler" one is to be preferred."

- Hancock's Razor, attributed to William Langius Delaney, named for 20th/21st century historian Graham Hancock

The philosophy of methodological reductionism, which has its most succinct expression in Occam's Razor, the former principle listed above, has been commonly accepted by the majority of the natural sciences and is also a major attribute of what is often called "common sense". The common man-on-the-street will accept more readily a simple explanation of a phenomenon than a convoluted one, provided the explanation is garnered from a peer and not an authority figure, in which case the gullibility rate is found to be higher.

However, despite the prominence of science in the twentieth century and the general success of positivistic scientific thought, rooted in Occam's Razor, many disagree. A principal critic of strict parsimony, beginning in the late 20th century, has been William Langius Delaney (1981 - ). Son of a local politician in Jacksonville, Florida, and working outside the other realms of criticism of philosophy of science such as postmodern critical theory, Delaney has independently developed the principle of Hancock's Razor as an alternate methodological principle in historical and scientific thought. The argument is as follows:

Rather than assuming the often dull, simplest version of events which are unknown, hypothesized, or fundamentally unknowable, life can be made more interesting if the cooler or more ridiculous (in the eye of the hypothesizer) theory is assumed to be true, despite lack of or scarcity of evidence to directly support the more extravagant theory above others.

As a significant example and namesake of this razor, Delaney proposes Graham Hancock (1951 - ) , historian and author of several books, including The Sign and the Seal, Fingerprints of the Gods, and Underworld, whose theories regarding the origins of civilization are highly unorthodox and altogether very intriguing, according to Delaney, who also lauds the author as the "best historian ever". Following Hancock's example, Delaney proposes we take the meagerest of historical evidence and accept with the theory that fulfills the evidence in the most interesting or "coolest" manner, but always following the direct physical evidence and sometimes using the ancient myths of civilizations as guides in determining one's own version of historical truth that conforms to but is not the simplest (i.e. least interesting) explanation of said evidence.

The critical philosophical point here is this: a negative proposition can never be universally proven right; arbitrary enforcement of simplicity is not proof. Thus, if one, based on certain evidence, can construct a unique, aesthetically pleasing, or outright awesome theory that incorporates many more logical entities than the simplest possible theory, such a theory may be reasonably acccepted by applying Hancock's Razor. There need not be a problem with unnecessary multiplication of entities. The problem, according to Delaney, lies in the unnecessary multiplication of uncool entities i.e. entities which lack the requisite aesthetic level desired by the theorizer. As many entities as possible may exist without the knowledge of the speculator, thus the speculator is free to assume the existence of any highly aesthetic ones for which there is neither evidence for or against. Thus passed through the aesthetic selection of Hancock's Razor, a newly minted theory may be christened ready to assume. The theory is then altered with new hypotheses, if new evidence is brought to light.

Hancock's Razor is malleable. Occam's razor is not in the sense that the theoretical selection process is contingent alone upon simplicity, in no way taking into account the perceived aesthetic beauty or coolness of the ideas involved. Hancock's Razor slices more broadly and in a variety of patterns, all equally provable without assuming the simplest to be correct.

Fully formulated in conjunction with his longtime companion and associate, Douglas Henning, Jr. (1982 - ), Delaney's popularization of Hancock's Razor has progressed slowly. In the future, some speculate, it may become the foundation of a new paradigm of scientific and speculative thought, but for now, its general knowledge is limited.

For more information regarding Hancock's Razor, study and apply the patterns of argument employed in Graham Hancock's works in one's everyday life and thereby make the discussion of history and science more interesting with reference to unknown quantities.

Has anyone actually checked the validity of this? I think it could be changed to be more correct as:
"Of two competing theories or explanations, all other things being equal, the more ridiculous and/or "cooler" one is more likely to be believed by the average sucker on the street."
Sort of an anti-thesis or compliment to Occam's Razor--ZayZayEM 08:42, 11 Oct 2004 (UTC)

## Wikipedia Help the Eager Beaver Article Foundation

The Wikipedia Help the Eager Beaver Article Foundation is a article on Wikipedia edited by Wikipedian Brendan McClelland on October 12, 2003 to protect the Eager Beaver article which is at an risk for deletion.

If you must help the article donate money to the address above:

Brendan McClelland 2042 Patriot Way Independence, KY 41051

## New stuff from Wave

The equation is always changing, always. All our 'equations' are false equations, based on drawing out a segment of something that has already passed out of manifestation.

Light is a waveform which penetrates its resonance through to 5th dimensional space-time. Electromagnetism occurs on the 3rd dimensional membranal manifested universe. This universe, consisting of ripples and interesecting ripples (Interference Patterns)) describes the system of potentialities that manifest from the implicate order. When these potentialities are fully realised in the explicate order, which limits, they become temporarily fixed in the inaccurate mind of the observer, but are in fact still constantly changing, namely decomposing, and simultaneously being perceived in ways without number by sentient beings of various scale and thought.

All waves propogate through a medium. The 'aether' was a correct assumption, but incorrect in its materialisation. The 'aether' is actually the network which binds humanity, the Solar System, the Galaxies, the Universe, all matter on all scales within our physical universe. This aether is a membrane. This membrane itself is vibrating, as well as acting as a medium for motion, energy and, above all, information.

Everything is information.

## From Education

Actely, Education is long for Bad.


Evidently, you don't get enough of the word. Jenaisis 17:49, 23 November 2006 (UTC)

## From Cat

In cat language, "me" means "I love you", and "ow" means "go away". Therefore, they say "meow".

• Actually, "me" means "I hate you" and "ow" means "feed me".

-Actually, you're both wrong. "Me" means "I" and "ow" means "just hurt myself"-

You're all right! Yaaaay!

## From Paul Levesque

"He is married to Angela's dad." [1]. Angela 16:58, Oct 19, 2003 (UTC)

## From Siraj-ud-Dowla

"one time i saw jesus in a banana and he told me to visit this website. four years later i finally did. finishing the last details on the perrenial driver, he spoke of far away lands inhabited by villainous creatures of all sizes. sitting in a semi cirlce around him we all prayed for the distant cousin of the four year plan: the sumarian. blanketed in an animal's fur he stormed the entrance to the garage and placed his club rather boisteriously on the work bench. "Forever and never again!", screamed the bandit.

i'll never forget that day. inward restraint"

   I think I can now see how the bible might have been written


## From American Revolution

The American Revolution was a war where monkeys and hamster fought for a orange banana named bob.

## Wikimail

WikiEN-l Compare Mother Teresa article to Pokeman article by User:Fred Bauder

Take a look at how criticisms are handled in the Pokeman article. I think this is a reasonable way if all material is to be put into one article.

Fred

## From Iwato

The Iwato Conference (1801)was a post Civil War conference held in New Brunswick Canada, this conference was the area of many disputes between Archduke Lawson of Neom and Justin Clark of Edinborough. Archduke Lawson was delegetated as the primary speaker to inform the public of the incoming onslaught of Kumarians, a ruthless band of Canadian natives. Lawson was under the impression that the Kumarians posed a serious threat, however Clark was not. In the end the Kumarians stormed the conference slaughtering all that were in it.

## From Talk:Forms of Address in the United Kingdom

This is the talk page of a large complicated table of the correct forms of address for different members of upper society

## From word (linguistics)

Forstkraut is a vocable discovered 2003. We are desparetely in need of the meaning of this term.

## From Melbourne Cup

Santa died on the Melbourne Cup riding his reindeer. This is a true fact.. Use it in your essays. 1861-2002 melbourne cups were won by Roodolf

## From Joe Ahmed

I overlooked this in edit before I posted it. I've fixed it.

He plays the violin exceptionally, and was even at one time played in the Garden State Pops Youth Orchestra (GSPYO.)

## From Moon

The Moon does not exist. It was blown up in a nuclear test in the 1960s by a scientist named Malcom Cohen. What you see now is a projection so that people do not panic. And by the way, its a secret, so keep it on the down low. -- anon IP

-You're right. That is why they faked the Moon landing, they could have gone there, but it wasn't there anymore so they had to fake it to keep the story up-

-and thats why they fake the tides too. If you go out into the ocean far enough there are giant wave machines. All done to decieve the public. FOR SHAME!-

• Umm...if the moon is the destroyed, the gravitational effect would have, at the least, had a small effect on the world. At the worst, the Earth would either fly off into space or get fried in the Sun.

## From dance of the spirits

the dance of the spirits: A rare occurrance when there is a earthquake near either a wine cellar or bar.

-this is delightful

## From Timeline of algorithms

the timeline of .....that...thing....that i cant spell.


if you go back in time very very far, you will encounter dinosaurs, big, scary lizard type beings, with big pointy teeth and *naarrr* NAAAAR* kill you all! fear them, you puny mortal fools! for he is coming, the time of redemption, is now!

## Fluff

"Fluff" is a descriptor for something soft such as 'bellybutton fluff' (the small balls of loose clothing material found in human navels) and "plush" stuffed animals.

The term fluff is also used to describe information, articles, or news items containing little or no real content and usually implies disdain for the idea, person, or thing (like this).

## Alarm Clock Pizza

How you make Alarm Clock Pizza is:

Step 1: You buy an alarm clock from the store, and then you have to break it and put it in the sauce.

Step 2: Fold the sauce in 5 slices and put it in the dough.

Step 3: Paint the eggs with a pitcher of a clock showing what time you want to wake up and eat pizza for breakfast.

Step 4: Put the eggs in the dough.

Step 5: Make it flat into a round shape and draw the time you want on it.

Step 6: Put some old steel to prevent other peple from stealing it.

Step 7: Make it flat and cut into 60 slices 1 for each minute in 1 our.

Step 7 and a half: poo on it

Step 8: Put in the oven set the timer to 30048813.2884 seconds and put the temperature on 'Volcano' setting.

Step 9: If you think it is take to long, then get yor alarm clock and set it to now so that it will ring and you can take it out.

Step 10: Take it out uv the uvin wen it is redy and go to bed. In the morning eat pizza and also eat yor hands bi mistake.

I have tried this recipe in the interests of writing a fair report. I do not recommend it.

Did you try eating it? Jenaisis 18:13, 23 November 2006 (UTC)

## New Rome

The "NEW ROME" is identical to "OLD ROME" except for the areas where it is different. The primary differences lie in the fact that the OLD ROME is much older than the NEW ROME, which is significantly newer. In addition to the newness of the NEW ROME, it is also important to note that NEW ROME when spelled backwards is EMOR WEN; whereas the OLD ROME spelled backwards is EMOR DLO.

Aside from these differences, the two are essentially identical... except for the flapjacks.

## Philosophy for Non-Philosophers

If you are not the philosophy type, you can, by reading this, have the simplest answers to any philosophical question somebody might possibly ask you (or you can just read it and maybe get a few laughs)! Enjoy.

1) Why are we here? Because we're here.

2) Why do things happen? Because they do.

3) What is our purpose? To be here.

4) What is the point? Something sharp.

5) What if the Hokey-Pokey really IS what it's all about? **NO ANSWER** (Actually the hokey pokey is about testing the bathwater in a bathtub to see if it's too hot -kyle)

6) If we really are the only sentient beings in the universe, it sure would be a big waste of space.

7) If we really aren't the only sentient beings in the universe, KLAATU BARADA NIKTO (please don't probe me).

I might come up with more, but feel free to add your own in!

## Nonsense

When the sun set in the sky, fire danced and faeries came out to play. Slowly the moon rose in the south and lit the world with a pale light. Night had begun and the inhabitants of Theslon, the largest natural satelite of Qyrste, rejoiced. All would be fulfilled.

"It's a good thing I have all these magical pixies flying around!! Otherwise, I might go insane!" -Imsety

## Harvey H. Lettuce

Harvey H. Lettuce (1897 - 1934) was an author, jounalist, political activist and horticulturaist. Born in the small Welsh town of Lletifairucswl, he was the son of a barrister - his father, Samuel J. Lettuce, was a noted authority on vegetation protection law, and his Mother, Sally-Anne D. Lettuce was a noted cook, publishing several household maintenance book, well know at the time ("A housewoman's giude to the kitchen and vegetable garden -- the manner their co-routine and upkeep thereof" being the most popular). Harvey was sent to the noted public school of St Stottac's Hall for boys and when on to study applied botany and Brocollie college, Cambridge. Upon gaining his degree, he took up the post of weeding co-ordinator at Eilwell & Co. fruit producers. When he saw the appalling treatment of the vegetation there, however, his activism was stirred, and he went on to dedicate his life to providing better conditions for domestic crops. He declared his stance as foliodroism (pronounced fo-lee-ODD-dra-izum) and founded the Society for the Promotion of Botanic Dignity in 1922. In 1923 he wrote several letter to The Times, including the following:

Dear Sir,
I should like to draw your readers' attention to the appalling sufferences
endured by some of the very food-stuffs for which granted is taken by their
diners and guests when saladic refreshment is provided within the confort of
Their dining rooms. Unlike they in their cosily watered confines, vegetables
and fruit procured for the pleasure of human consumption is allocated no such
consideration. Left in the cold dark earth, with nothing but an unkept layer of
equine defecant betixt they and the unholy monstrosities of the vulgar slug and
snail, our helpless colleagues of the kingdom Plantae have none of the liberties
afforded to the privelidged British race by His Majesty's legislature. Nay, but
they are notwithstanding put until this inexplicable toil for our own want of
leafy greens with which to sprig upon our dressings. Dear Gentlemen, I implore
you not to garnish this outrage with your continued patronage, and proceed to
banish the purveyors of such untimely doomed foliage from our civilised
society forever more.
Yours faithfully,
Mr. H. H. Lettuce, esq. , the Society for the Promotion of Botanic Dignity,
Appleby, England.


Harvey received only a little support from the moneyed classes on his endeavour, and due to long-outset nutritional undernourishment, Lettuce perished in his bed on the 17th of March, 1934. He suffered from the increasingly dibilitating progressive disorder of yellowing, together with the withering of his skin, caused by lack of potassium and excessive water. He is buried in Skegness, where his grave is adorned by the foliage of his abiding conpatriots.

Did you mean "Llanfairljiptwilrtugtrtwgttygtyuftgtyuertytyrggffgrggffrgogog"
This is a ridiculous article. Apart from anything else, there is no Broccolie college at Cambridge. It is spelt Broccoleigh.

## Useless

Wikipedia is not a dictionary. For a dictionary definition, see Wiktionary:Useless

## Evolution

================SCIENCE FICTION===================


-"THEOLOGICAL DISCUSSION"

An arguement between two children which boils down to "my imaginary friend can beat up YOUR imaginary friend"-

## Ciccaba

From the burning alps of Miami, a treasure bin with a jewish face, and a practical smile, comes the Ciccaba, or for short, Jewish Delight. In 1989, a scientist by the name of Ward Garcenton discovered a cup of warm cider. To his surprise, it wasn't cider, but a sample of urine, from the rare Ciccaba. Taken to the lab that afternoon, Ward realized his Grandma had herpes.

## Bee mine

A bee mine might also be a mine where bees are extracted. Unfortunately, this is impossible as bees are animals and not minerals.

Not until we find a way to cross organic beings with rocks, anyway. Jenaisis 18:17, 23 November 2006 (UTC)

## Cydonia

Cydonia is an ancient civilization that once contained the entire population of inhabitants on the planet Mars. Little is known about this once large "mega-city" built below the surface. Apparrently deserted for approximately half a million years, there is little evidence of whether it was evacuated or the huminoid Martians were somehow destroyed. Previous space-probe missions to the red planet have revealed little about this advanced civilization. Continuing efforts are being undertaken to explore the resources that once fed Cydonia. Water systems would prove especially useful for future colonisation of Mars. The upcoming 2007-8 manned Mars mission, the first of it's kind, will reveal much about the habitability of the harsh planet.

## Cowan, Tennessee

Cowan is an ancient hamlet settled in coves of the Cumberland Plateau founded in 1774 by one John Cowan the oldest cemetery in Cowan was founded in 1776. Before the arrival of John Cowan and the settlers Cowan was home to Cherokee and Crowe indians who engaged in bitter conflicts over trading rights at Lynda's Market. The coming of the Balrog in 1547 C.E. resulted in the complete destruction of Lynda's Market and the subsequent arrival of Browns Pool Hall. Complete control of Browns Pool Hall was vested in one known only as"popcorn" His name has been lost to antiquity.
Geographically Cowan is small compared to the rest of the country it is really pretty tiny it has only two stoplights. However, our Little League ball fields are the envy of the county and I'd dare say they are jsut as good as any of your big city ball fields. Our town also boasts a school, 2 convinece stores, a liquor store(closed only on the Lords day), a grocery, 10 churches,4 bars, 6 restuaraunts, a broken down car wash, an out of business laundrymat, and a gun shop, and 27 shade tree mechanics. For recreation "Cowanites" enjoy hunting,fishing, hunting, working on cars, looking for wild animals to kill, beating and chasing dogs, riding around, plowing up dirt, staring into the sun, looing for fish, building cars out of old rusted out parts, shooting things and sometimes people, drinking a lot, going to church on sundays, eating gravey and a biscuit.

The current mayor of Cowan is the infamous "Chick" Tucker. A veteran of WWII and former employee of the Cowan Limestone Quarry which shut its doors in the early eighties. This great catatastrophe resulted in mass unemployment and an exodus of "Cowanites" who subsequently fled into the hills never to be seen again.

## Coeducation

Remarkably, after a little more than than a century in the mainstream higher education system of the United States, American women now earn the majority of bachelor's degrees and account for 60% of the enrolled undergraduate population. - (Nelson: "<I>Ah-ha!")

## Stuart Murdoch

Stuart is noted for his love of fine Dutch cheese, his unusually large sexual member, and his reluctance to cut his hair properly. He weighs exactly 89lbs., and is said to smell of pine tree.
Stuart grew up with 3 sisters, 1 brother, and a cat named Hairy Balls.

Of Stuart's siblings, only 1 is not jealous of his success.

Stuart had a passionate love affair with his car Max, but recently auctioned Max off on ebay, like a pimp selling his girls to the highest bidder.
Stuart is not quite as cute as some people on the B&S Forum would have you believe, but he's certainly better looking than Patti Smith.

Better looking than Patti Smith? Un-likely! (Smerdis of Tlön)

What sort of cheese: Gouda, Edam, Nederoverheembeek, DelangsteplaatsnaamterwerelddieookLlanfairjluptwilfgfrefsdgergwfygeuyfeggfygogogverslaat?

-Actually, he mixed two things up; It's his brother that's named Hairy Balls, and the cat is the one who isn't jealous-

## Abelian grape

The Abelian grape meets the criteria of: 1. Being Purple 2. Commutes

Although Abelian grapes are similar to Abelian groups one must be careful and note the subtle differences.

Do not confuse abelian groups with Abelian grape.

## Edit conflicts

From the Department of Do-As-I-Say-Don't-Do-As-I-Do:

An action-packed saga in which two veteran sysops battle in hand-to-hand conflict with Wikipedia's champion reversionista. Two more sysops come to the rescue. MyRedThreeEditRule casts ideological baggage to the wind. An uneasy peace is finally restored:[2]

View (previous 500) (next 500) (20 | 50 | 100 | 250 | 500).

Legend: (cur) = difference with current version, (last) = difference with preceding version, M = minor edit

• (cur) (last) . . 23:47, 6 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice ("a desire to get his edit through without having to merge it with Alice's" -> "laziness")
• (cur) (last) . . 23:45, 6 Dec 2003 . . Wik (take your insults elsewhere; I will not respond in kind)
• (cur) (last) . . M 23:37, 6 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice (sp)
• (cur) (last) . . 23:36, 6 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice (Wikiquette, WikiLove to see alsos)
• (cur) (last) . . 23:32, 6 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice (the best of the world of sanity, coupled with the best of the world of anti-social paranoia :-))
• (cur) (last) . . 23:24, 6 Dec 2003 . . Wik (rv)
• (cur) (last) . . 23:18, 6 Dec 2003 . . Hephaestos
• (cur) (last) . . 23:14, 6 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice (expand Reverting)
• (cur) (last) . . 23:12, 6 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice (rv to Hephaestos)
• (cur) (last) . . 21:22, 6 Dec 2003 . . Wik (rv)
• (cur) (last) . . 21:19, 6 Dec 2003 . . Hephaestos (obviously you don't know what common courtesy is)
• (cur) (last) . . 21:13, 6 Dec 2003 . . Wik (obviously you don't know what an edit conflict is)
• (cur) (last) . . M 21:10, 6 Dec 2003 . . Cyp (Yes there was, see http://en.wikipedia.org/w/wiki.phtml?title=Wikipedia:Edit_conflicts&diff=1888207&oldid=1888130 which you also reverted, probably by accident)
• (cur) (last) . . 21:06, 6 Dec 2003 . . Wik (there was no edit conflict)
• (cur) (last) . . M 21:03, 6 Dec 2003 . . Cyp (rv (Yes, but you also reverted my change, ignoring the edit conflict.))
• (cur) (last) . . 21:01, 6 Dec 2003 . . Wik (I reverted Angela)
• (cur) (last) . . M 21:00, 6 Dec 2003 . . Cyp (rv, (Wik ignored edit conflict, deleted my change!!! See diff!))
• (cur) (last) . . 20:57, 6 Dec 2003 . . Wik (this is not about edit warring)
• (cur) (last) . . M 20:49, 6 Dec 2003 . . Cyp
• (cur) (last) . . 20:49, 6 Dec 2003 . . Angela (then Alice should go and do those things rather than wasting time edit warring shouldn't she?)
• (cur) (last) . . 20:34, 6 Dec 2003 . . Wik (Alice may have better things to do than to accommodate any moron who doesn't understand the edit conflict page)
• (cur) (last) . . 20:28, 6 Dec 2003 . . Angela (No, if Bob repeats his error, it is really IS best for Alice to have a friendly word on his talk page etc etc)
• (cur) (last) . . 20:16, 6 Dec 2003 . . Wik (rv)
• (cur) (last) . . 20:12, 6 Dec 2003 . . Angela (move prevention section up, reinsert "If Bob repeats his error, then the best approach is for Alice to have a friendly word on his talk page, point him to this page, and ask him if he could take a ...)
• (cur) (last) . . M 19:21, 6 Dec 2003 . . Wik
• (cur) (last) . . 17:47, 6 Dec 2003 . . Wik (rv, prevention)
• (cur) (last) . . M 17:46, 6 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice (separate )
• (cur) (last) . . 17:45, 6 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice (rv, prevention)
• (cur) (last) . . 17:40, 6 Dec 2003 . . Wik (rv)
• (cur) (last) . . 17:39, 6 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice (Dealing with repeated mistakes.)
• (cur) (last) . . 17:35, 6 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice (rv to Angela)
• (cur) (last) . . 04:20, 6 Dec 2003 . . Wik
• (cur) (last) . . 03:50, 6 Dec 2003 . . Angela (Wik, have you even looked what you are removing from this article? Are you saying we should NOT assume good faith?)
• (cur) (last) . . 03:41, 6 Dec 2003 . . Wik (rv (ditto))
• (cur) (last) . . 03:36, 6 Dec 2003 . . Angela (rv 2- Wik - see the talk page for the justification for this version)
• (cur) (last) . . 03:25, 6 Dec 2003 . . Wik (rv)
• (cur) (last) . . M 03:24, 6 Dec 2003 . . Angela (rv - Martin - you are breaking the 3 revert policy that you wrote :))
• (cur) (last) . . 03:19, 6 Dec 2003 . . Wik (rv)
• (cur) (last) . . 03:16, 6 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice (RV)
• (cur) (last) . . 03:11, 6 Dec 2003 . . Wik (rv)
• (cur) (last) . . 03:07, 6 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice (rv)
• (cur) (last) . . 03:05, 6 Dec 2003 . . Wik (rv)
• (cur) (last) . . 03:03, 6 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice (This is particularly important if the page has subsequently been edited by, say, Carol and David.)
• (cur) (last) . . M 03:02, 6 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice (diff)
• (cur) (last) . . 03:00, 6 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice (rv, but s/appropriate/acceptable)
• (cur) (last) . . 02:42, 6 Dec 2003 . . Wik (rv)
• (cur) (last) . . 02:40, 6 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice (rv )
• (cur) (last) . . 23:30, 4 Dec 2003 . . Wik (restore balance)
• (cur) (last) . . M 15:49, 4 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice (sp)
• (cur) (last) . . 15:49, 4 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice (Expand - Assume good faith, We encourage contributors to double-check their merges, etc)
• (cur) (last) . . 13:01, 4 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice (rv to Hephaestos)
• (cur) (last) . . 01:51, 4 Dec 2003 . . Wik (it's absurd to make the language in the second case stronger than in the first)
• (cur) (last) . . 01:48, 4 Dec 2003 . . Hephaestos (Martin's is much better)
• (cur) (last) . . 01:43, 4 Dec 2003 . . Wik ("conspiracy theories"?)
• (cur) (last) . . 01:30, 4 Dec 2003 . . Cyp (Attempting a compromise (which probably won't be accepted by either side...))
• (cur) (last) . . 00:51, 4 Dec 2003 . . Wik (you are not the community)
• (cur) (last) . . 00:44, 4 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice (the community is more vexed about the one than the other - hence, not equal)
• (cur) (last) . . 21:29, 3 Dec 2003 . . Wik (+It is absolutely not acceptable for Bob to overwrite Alice out of a desire to get his edit through without having to merge it with Alice's.)
• (cur) (last) . . 21:19, 3 Dec 2003 . . Angela (+ It is absolutely not acceptable for Alice to reverse Bob's major improvements to the page out of a desire to protect her minor improvements, or to punish Bob for his carelessness.)
• (cur) (last) . . 20:39, 3 Dec 2003 . . Wik (more equalizing)
• (cur) (last) . . 22:41, 2 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice (So let us make both statements strong)
• (cur) (last) . . 22:32, 2 Dec 2003 . . Wik (one should be as strong as the other)
• (cur) (last) . . 22:31, 2 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice (rm redundant text)
• (cur) (last) . . 22:31, 2 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice (Bob should not (some would say, must not) just post his changes over the top)
• (cur) (last) . . 21:53, 2 Dec 2003 . . Wik (you have no authority to write official policy)
• (cur) (last) . . 21:32, 2 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice (rv - it not a policy written by an official, but it is official policy :))
• (cur) (last) . . 20:35, 2 Dec 2003 . . Wik
• (cur) (last) . . 19:29, 2 Dec 2003 . . Patrick (restore paragraph)
• (cur) (last) . . M 19:20, 2 Dec 2003 . . Patrick
• (cur) (last) . . M 02:33, 2 Dec 2003 . . Cyp (+"copy" in "or just over")
• (cur) (last) . . 02:15, 2 Dec 2003 . . Angela (revert - see talk page)
• (cur) (last) . . 02:00, 2 Dec 2003 . . Wik (Martin has no authority to define official policies)
• (cur) (last) . . 01:53, 2 Dec 2003 . . Angela (He did. See http://mail.wikipedia.org/pipermail/wikien-l/2003-December/008756.html)
• (cur) (last) . . 01:42, 2 Dec 2003 . . Wik (no, Martin should have brought it up before changing the page)
• (cur) (last) . . 01:39, 2 Dec 2003 . . Angela (well try bringing that up on the talk page then)
• (cur) (last) . . 01:17, 2 Dec 2003 . . Wik (I disagree with those changes)
• (cur) (last) . . 23:23, 1 Dec 2003 . . MyRedDice (rewrite, new sections on Logical edit conflicts and Mistakes, new policy on edit wars resulting from edit conflicts)
• (cur) (last) . . 14:56, 31 Jul 2003 . . Patrick
• (cur) (last) . . 10:37, 31 Jul 2003 . . Patrick
• (cur) (last) . . 10:34, 31 Jul 2003 . . Patrick
• (cur) (last) . . 11:16, 30 Jan 2003 . . MyRedDice (moved from handling edit conflicts)
• (cur) (last) . . M 09:00, 12 Apr 2002 . . Ed Poor (formatting )
• (cur) (last) . . M 08:58, 12 Apr 2002 . . Ed Poor (Easiest way to deal with edit conflics (without losing your changes))

View (previous 500) (next 500) (20 | 50 | 100 | 250 | 500).

## Corporate nationalism

Corporations, a form of alien life, were granted the legal status of human beings back in the 1890's, and it's been mostly downhill from there. What if you could be in more than one place at the same time? And live forever? And never had to sleep or eat and could change shape and size at will? You would be an alien too. What if you could avoid responsibilities indefinitely by shifting the blame back and forth between different parts of yourself? (I do that already, no I don't!) Or you could have yourself pronounced dead and start a whole new life just by changing your name. It would be just like vandals on Wikipedia, that it would!

Corporations can do all these things. These superbeings live among us and, like their comic-book equivalents, destroy our environment without even trying. They lobby our elected representatives with frightening effectiveness. The scariest part is how cheaply politicians can be bought. A $50,000 contribution in the right place can buy many millions in pork. A$37 cent stamp put on the right envelope once killed 176 chickens in Tennesee.

But loyalty is potentially a much stronger force than money. Members of the George W. Bush administration remember their roots--their previous places of employment, the Central Intelligence Agency controlled Halliburton and Texas Rangers. The oil industry, defense contractors, etc. There is a tremendous amount of overlap between the boards of the largest corporations, and not coincidentally, between those boards and the most powerful government positions. See Bohemian Grove for more information about what they do in the woods.

Fascism is often defined as the state that occurs when business and politics have merged. What state are you in? Fight the real enemy!

## Jean Chrétien

Chrétien worked for the decimalization of drugs, perhaps because he himself wanted to escape the reality of the society decaying under his rule by becoming an abuser of a dangerous, mind-altering, brain damage-causing drug after his resignation.

## Billingham

well let me tell you something about billingham, it is a bad place to visit because of its high crime rate, mainly due to phil surname removed and his unruly family. they will snatch your purse right away before you even have chance to pay for your greggs cheese pasty, greggs the bakers is the largest shop in the town centre, so there isnt much point in doing any christmas shopping there, unless your friends and family are fat and like pies. most of the locals have at least 12 children and usually grow up to become thieves like their parents, and most families are dole cheats, so beware of this rapidly growing small town...avoid it like th plauge! oh and one last thing, paul surname removed has moved there so if he still has any of your video collection you know where to find him, but like in thornaby dont use your own car to go there if it has nice wheels,(as you wont have them if you stop for more than 9.2 seconds) use a taxi!

## Ryan Doan

Ryan Doan:

Local Milwaukeean, Ryan Doan, has been sighted mass murdering babies and kittens 49 times in January, 2002 alone. Some people think he may be Satan incarnate, which is the accepted theory. On November 28, 2003, he was spotted by a parking security camara throwing an old womans walker across the street and then pushing her over and repeatedly running her over with a lawn mower. So far, no charges have been pressed against Satan, but law makers are trying to change that as of December 20, 2003. He and Paul Spillane hold the record for most kittens killed in the history of the world.

## Paul Spillane

Paul Spillane

Paul Spillane, currently residing in Milwaukee, WI, has killed thousands, even millions of kittens. Law enforcement and scientific teams estimate he may already be over the 2 million mark?

## Crustmas

Crustmas is a festival celebrated by Chrustians of the Order of the Toast. They believe that their messiah, Peisov Crust, was born on this day 7000 years ago in a toast rack in ancient Sumeria to the blessed Virgin olive oil Marge. This scene, known as the Toastivity, is common in the symbolism of Crustmas - usually consisting of representations of the blessed Marge and the baby Peisov. Also present, according to tradition, were three wise bakers (they used their loafs), also known as the Majami, who beseeched the baby Crust with gifts of Anchor Gold, Marmalade and Napkins.

The traditional Crustmas greeting is "Toasty Crustmas", and "Grease on toast, good will towards men".

Crustmas falls on the first 2.6 hours of the 25th December, although a detached portion also exists spanning 16 minutes just before 2pm. Given the overlap of this festival with the more well-known Christian festival of Christmas, observers of Crustmas often face discrimination and their festival is largely ignored by the world's governments and media.

See also: the festival Toaster, where the Lord Peisov Crust was put to death yet rose to descend to Devon.

## The mo

The "Mo" is a mammal native to the North island of New Zealand. It is a member of the Talpidae family in the order Insectivora. Mos are very similar phenotypically to other burrowing animals, such as moles and gophers, but are genetically (and behaviorally) similar to the smaller Anteaters. They range from twenty-five to thirty centimeters in length and are have short,thin bristles that form their coats range from blonde or brown to grey. These have been used for centuries in the fabric Mohair, which requires the animal to be shorn, not slaughtered. The frequency of allergic reactions to Mohair is related to the rarity of human contact with the species; but its popularity has encouraged researchers to consider engineering hypoallergenic varieties. In late 2004, a hypoallergenic variety of mohair was finally developed through genetic engineering. Being tougher than either cotton and nylon, this hypoallergenic Mohair, with the Mo still alive, was used to make clothing. This led to the Mo being worn on the head, otherwise known as a Mohawk.

## Vegetarianism

• Meat vegetarianism refers to the consuming of a vegetarian by a meat-eater viz. A human eating a steak. This is because of the second defination of vegetarian, i.e. "Something that eats vegetarians."
• A vegitarian cannibal eats ... Swedes

## Food

===Food for animals===


Animals may be served their food in a manger. See also Nativity.

## Sara Gilbert

-And now, the award under the heading of "Unclear On The Concept"...-

## "The Tyranny of King John"

(written by 137.222.10.57)

Tyranny of King John

The tyranny of the Union's most ignominious monarch, King John was tarred by an inherent division between the Principality of Wales, and England. His monarchy saw dangerous factions form as well as the grave prospect of collapse of English/Welsh solidarity.

The cause of this discontent is slightly bizarre. English high society and gentry stood aghast as King John presided over a highly controversial agricultural policy. It was upon his edict that a popular Welsh assertion was legalised and therefore to an extent, legitimised. James Sperike, a member of the King's court is recorded as commenting "ye is somewhat perturbed and chagrined by the insouciant, immoral and, I hazard to say injudicious pronouncements upon the King's conscience." Indeed to this day, this Welsh postulation remains a significant problem in the Welsh valleys. This prosaic myth was that having sexual intercourse with livestock, in particular sheep, would improve their yield. Unsurprisingly, the English stood in moral outrage, and launched against their monarch's will a vast campaign against the unethical Welsh.

The wise English leaders showed great sagacity in cognizing that the most efficacious way to subjugate Welsh society was through job creation, rather then the brutal, unforgiving wholesale slaughtering of Welsh men (not women and children of course). To this end they built mines to employ the misguided Welsh man. This was based on the assumption that the less than industrious Welshman was, whilst under ground for 23 hours each day, unlikely to have the opportunity to commit such misdemeanours.

As such, through this magnanimous approach the erudite English prohibited the corrupt Welsh from their propensity towards depravity. For centuries undisturbed sheep grazed and prospered, producing fine wool and succulent lamb. Unfortunately, their peace has been broken in the last 20 years as the feasibility of mining in Wales became unpractical. Government crimes statistics have revealed a clear correlation between the rise in structurally unemployed former miners and the increase in sheep penetration incidents. The problem has become such a serious affliction that Tony Blair regularly delights his ennobled English audiences with his axiom, "I am going to get tough on sheep shagging, and tough on the causes of sheep shagging." Thus far efforts to ameliorate this dire predicament have proved relatively unsuccessful. These have included an eclectic array of policies, including such replacement job creation as paying Welshmen to lick windows clean and un-tooled cesspit cleansing. Out of desperation and in an attempt to couch itself in a democratic pretence the government has launched a major public consultation. Suggestions to www.labour.co.uk

Dr. Ivor Kitten, Bangkok School of Bestiality studies

## April 30

added: 22:04, 24 Oct 2003 . . 63.185.16.203 (Births, April 30:)

## Arkum

Arkum is a strong warrior from Rotherham. He has many arms and legs but only shows two of each. On occasion he will show people his third leg. He shows no mercy to any man but sometimes he takes a liking to ladies from the outer Sheffield region. He can crush towns and cities with his mind. Arkum is a God from Rotherham, a God from Rotherham is Arkum.

## Wikipedia:Sandbox

Anton Sezter A lecturer from Swansea university has created a new form of encryption called the confusion method this was stumbled upon by mistake when he created notes so confusing no known human has been able to decipher them. Currently Dr Sezter is In the process of creating a decoding algorithm however this is proving difficult due to the fact that the notes are so well encrypted.

## Harold Shipman

The Worst North Birmingham Busways Driver Commonly on route 821 known for stopping bus for misbehaviour of upstairs deck, the worst incidence when a seat caught fire, also technician at NBB headquarters for fixing crappy buses, so he was always in work because they always broke down, before he hung himself with bedsheets because NBB don't pay him enough for rope

## Herbert Wehner

[as written by 207.74.164.7 (How he died) 20:00, 15 Dec 2003]

Herbert Wehner was born on December 24, 1969. He died on January 19, 1990. He had constipation for 3 years, then he threw up for 1 year then danced around singing I was constipated. Then he got shot. Thats all for now.

## Chief of Staff

Competent Chief of Staffs are non existent in the Israeli Defense Forces.

The Peter Principle is used to pick each Chief of Staff.

For example the previous Chief of Staff was Shaul Mofaz. Three times he took the officers test for entering officers school. Three times he failed it.

Utilizing the Peter Principle, he was made an officer anyway and with every careless failure and blunder he was promoted until he was made Chief of Staff not because he was competent, but because he was born in Iraq, and it was felt he would increase the morale of Israeli soldiers whose parents were born in Arab countries.

The current Chief of Staff Moshe Yaalon was chosen because he had been a total failure as Military Intelligence Chief. Known as "Crazy Meshuganah Moshe," he believed every word from those he appointed to head the Iraq desk of Military Intelligence.

Bush and Blair would love daydreamer Moshe for he still believes Iraq has tons of WMD weapons.

Moshe is the type of Chief of Staff who believes every lie Sharon tells him. If Sharon told him the sky is falling, Meshuganah Moshe would say, "yes, Prime Minister, I see it, I see it. Needless to say the Peter Principle guarantees Moshe will go far in politics when he retires.

## Featured Article Nomination of Anal Sex

"Anal Sex -- a thorough, sensitive treatment of a potentially squeamish topic." Exploding Boy 13:04, Jan 24, 2004 (UTC)

(Best double meaning ever)

## Public School

Public school: This is a type of school in the UK that sadly still survives into the 21st century. It is a fee paying school where children are sent, usually between the ages of 13 and 18. Traditionally single sex schools, they have a reputation for breaking down the child by providing a tough regime of hard discipline and spartan conditions. The child is forced to work long hours so that the academic results from public schools are generally better than average.

Three types of parents send their child to a public school:

1. Parents who, themselves attended public school. By sending their child to public school, they are able affirm that their sad lives. Repeating the cycle is satisfying to them.

2. Aspiring wanna-be parents who want to see themselves as being "better" than the new-monied middle class car salesmen or pension managers that they are.

3. Unhappy parents who can't wait to get the children out from under their feet so that they can "get their lives back."

Many ex public school children spend a life time trying to educate the public school conditioning out of their scarred souls.

## Lir

From Wikipedia:Possible misuses of admin privileges: Lir is a persistent and deliberate pest and if Hephaestos banned him, blocked him or tied him in a sack and dropped him over Niagara Falls he would have the thanks of a grateful nation. Adam 04:28, 1 Feb 2004 (UTC)

## Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

From edit history: (cur) (last) . . 02:14, Feb 4, 2004 . . Raul654 (It's traditional to put the spoiler warning before the spoilers)

• Support - appears to have a talent for puting up with the unputupwithable. -- Finlay McWalter 17:27, 20 Jan 2004 (UTC)
• Support. Mr. McWalter, methinks thou havest une penchant pour le creatizzle of new wordages. ugen64 03:48, Jan 23, 2004 (UTC)

## Constantine II of Scotland

"He died peacefully in 952, and was probably buried at the monastary. Constantine's surviving don, Indulf, later became King Indulf of Scotland."

Brings to mind Godfather-style images of horses' heads being laid on beds of people that Indulf and Constantine did not like. In reality it was the result of yours truly pressing D instead of S on the keyboard. Arno 07:46, 6 Feb 2004 (UTC)

## Complex-Probability

This is when the real part of the Lebesgue-Probability of an event is not equal to zero. If the probability of rolling a five on the Lebesgue Dice were 0.5+i, then the we expect on average after 10 rolls, five never to appear 5 times and the disappear through another dimension. No isomorphism has been found between Complex Probability and a standard group, and the Manning-McArdle Conjucture states that Complex-Probability does not lead to consistant answers unless the imaginary part is equal to some integer times the square root of 7.

## Lir's request for snoyes' desysopping

If you're requesting your own de-adminship, you can do so private communication with a developer, should you wish to do so. If you're requesting de-adminship of someone else, you can do so here, but please first try to discuss the issue directly with the admin in question. Note that there are alternatives to removing sysop privileges: such as a "clarification" or "request" from Mr. Wales.

• User:Snoyes unprotected DNA, which was undergoing mediation. Now the page has returned to an edit war state. I don't think sysop priviliges should be entrusted to somebody who can't even be bothered to ask on the talk page whether people think unprotection is a good idea. He didn't even bother to leave a note on the talk page, indicating that it had been unprotected! Lirath Q. Pynnor
• This is ridiculous. I was going to unprotect it myself, but snoyes did it first. Perhaps I should be desysopped too. The article had gone virtually untouched for two weeks before he unprotected it, no doubt discouraging valid contributions in that time. After it was unprotected, it took another week for the edit warring to start again. You cannot place the blame for your poor etiquette and hostile style of expressing your opinion upon the person who enabled a forum for that expression. silsor 17:25, Jan 29, 2004 (UTC)
• From email exchanges with Lir, it has become clear to me that the reason the edit war did not restart for a week is because Lir didn't notice it had been unprotected for a week. -- Cyan 18:23, 29 Jan 2004 (UTC)
• Protecting pages is considered harmful. Articles can not stay protected forever just because you can't control your edit warring. Snoyes did exactly the right thing unprotecting it. Angela. 17:35, Jan 29, 2004 (UTC)
• While protected pages are considered harmful, so are edit wars. It is a question of which is more harmful at a particular time, which is a judgment call each sysop must make for him- or herself. -- Cyan 18:23, 29 Jan 2004 (UTC)
• Snoyes did nothing wrong. Optim 18:05, 29 Jan 2004 (UTC)
• Unprotecting a page while discussion is ongoing is not an abuse of sysop privilege. Unprotecting a page without consulting the disputants is not an abuse of sysop privilege. Unprotecting a page without leaving a note on the talk page is not an abuse of sysop privilege. I doubt anyone but you, Lir, thinks Snoyes's sysop privileges should be removed because of a judgment call made without consulting you and that you do not agree with. -- Cyan
• Protecting a page is a technological last resort aimed at people who can't resolve their differences by discourse and consensus. As Angela pointed out, it is harmful as it makes 3rd party contributions impossible. The page was protected on the 6th of January. I unprotected it on the 22nd. The time it spent in a protected state was already way too long. Any reasonable group of persons should be able to agree not to edit an article for a set duration of time in order to resolve their differences. As a matter of fact, I'm going to have a look at the protection log to see whether there are any other articles that have been protected for too long. And no, I won't leave a notice on the talk page. --snoyes 18:30, 29 Jan 2004 (UTC)
• I think Lir sort of has a point. Given that Lir hadn't come to an agreement on the talk page, more edit warring and protection was inevitable as soon as the page became unprotected. The lifted protection was actually the second recent protection of the article from Lir, who on de-protection the first time went right back to the objectionable changes that prompted the protection, and even after an agreement seemingly had been reached on the Talk page. Given that history, I think it was in a way premature for Snoyes to deprotect it again before the community has banned Lir. Now I suppose I am in danger of losing my adminship for protecting the page again, although I have made a recent edit to the page. Yes, I realize I could have asked someone else to do it for me. I just couldn't see anything truly wrong with doing it myself. I won't mind expanding on that if anyone wishes to nominate me for deadminning. 168... 18:32, 29 Jan 2004 (UTC)
• I don't see why someone who has repeatedly and after having been informed [later note:I was mistaken that this was done repeatedly or after having been informed - snoyes 19:42, 29 Jan 2004 (UTC)], broken rule number 2 of Wikipedia:Protection policy has anything to say about my conduct in protecting/unprotecting pages. - snoyes 18:49, 29 Jan 2004 (UTC)
• Hey, wait a minute! "Repeatedly"?! "after having been informed"?! If I'm reading "rule number 2" correctly (they aren't numbered) those assertions are patently false. I have never protected any page ever before I protected the DNA page this time.168... 19:29, 29 Jan 2004 (UTC)
• Yes they are numbered. Number two states: "Do not protect a page you have edited recently, have been in a dispute with in the past, or where you are in some other way involved" This was the case with your protection of DNA. I made a mistake about you repeatedly having done this. (I misread the date on Mav's comment on your talk page.) For this I appologise. - snoyes 19:42, 29 Jan 2004 (UTC)
• Weird: Somehow I didn't see the numbers the first time. At least I counted right. Thanks for the apology for the misstatement. You might have apologized too for interpreting my post as having been directed against you when it wasn't, not that it wouldn't be understandable if you were in a defensive state of mind at the time. 168... 20:49, 29 Jan 2004 (UTC)
• I only said something about your conduct as a rhetorical device to say something about Lir and make an academic point about the system. I believe that since Lir is not likely to be banned anytime soon, what you did was the best thing to do and I am glad you did it. It has moved things along.168... 18:55, 29 Jan 2004 (UTC)
• Lirath Q. Pynnor has an edit war and wants someone else penalised for Lirath Q. Pynnor's own failure to follow normal practice? I don't think I'll support that. Lirath Q. Pynnor, please get the community involved instead of going on a one person crusade. Jamesday 18:35, 29 Jan 2004 (UTC)
• Oh waah! Somebody unprotected the page and made me get in an edit war! Just disregard anything either Lir or 168 has to say in this issue. - Hephaestos 19:39, 29 Jan 2004 (UTC)
• Pay close attention to what Hephaestos had to say on this issue. It's an excellent example of a valid point being drowned out by the inflammatory rudeness of its presentation. A post like that discourages anything but an emotional response. I'm glad that so many of us seem able to avoid making them most of the time. 168... 21:07, 29 Jan 2004 (UTC)
• Excuse me if I respond to frivolous bull in kind. I'd rather be a little rude than invite the inevitable shitstorm that completely and justifiably removing this idiotic thread would entail. I tried "being nice" for over a year; obviously it hasn't worked. Another approach is called for. - Hephaestos 21:16, 29 Jan 2004 (UTC)
• I would excuse you, if the post you just made were an apology and not an escalation of the rudeness. New approaches may be called for, but as you described it, yours strikes me as a tragically misguided one.168... 21:31, 29 Jan 2004 (UTC)
• Hephaestos, I think it's important to recognize that 168's "Lir sort of has a point" post wasn't actually on the topic of desysoping snoyes. In other words, it's off-topic here. Anything 168 has to say on the pertinent topic may very will be worth reading. (For the record, I agree with most of the content of 168's original post. Also for the record, I think politeness is the worst approach, except for all the other ones.) -- Cyan 21:37, 29 Jan 2004 (UTC)
• Thanks for the courteous words of moderation. Just for the record, I actually did have something to say on the pertinent topic, but only said it after my initial post. People can go find what I had to say if they're interested.168... 23:43, 29 Jan 2004 (UTC)
• Snoyes is a hard-working and fair-minded contributor and a worthy sysop. "If in doubt, always unprotect a page" is a good rule-of-thumb. After all, if an edit war restarts, there are plenty of sysops here who can come along and protect it again. It takes what? Three seconds? Support for Snoyes. Tannin 22:10, 29 Jan 2004 (UTC)

i would like to know what page all this is about considering i can only digest so much vinegar at one time!!!!

## Transient

Transient Flex is the makeshift parabola described by the repetition of two or more tones. They are best described in terms of Houston's Paranelium, a tiny part of the cochlea which aligns hair cells on the basis of their approximate era.

As such, the Teddy Boy hairs are demoted to the 50s quadrant, the hairies to the 60s and so forth until mutrant wielder VII instigates a sharp, vast and bulbous revenge on the duchy of Winchy Vitriol!

whoops wrong edit line . . .

## Ancient city of Rome

Ancient Rome was a great and powerful civilisation. They even had central heating 2000 years ago. Unfortunately, like Germany between the world wars, it was too easy for someone to become dictator. Someone did, and then it all went to shit. (Insert Details Here)

## Superhero

Danielle Giusto

This agent of the Catholic Church has been considered the most devout soul in the Washington, DC area. A native of Long Island, she is just a bit of terrific. Starting from birth, she felt a calling to be a lion tamer. She trained with ferocious dogs and bigger-than-average cats. However, during her first experience with a lion she was viciously mauled. This led Danielle to pursue music instead. She was enrolled in the American University in Washington, DC. After her first voice rehearsal she came upon a misterious burning bush. She prostrated herself, and started reciting the Lord's Prayer. But, it turned out that the dry bush just caught on fire, as it was a hot day. As she was just about to stand up, she heard deep male voices speaking a language she could not recognize. Peering over the charred bush, she saw a group of Neo-Nazis. The curious girl followed them as they walked down a winding path. They entered a dark warehouse behind American University. The leader of the group started yelling fanatically. From his tone, she could tell something was about to happen. She saw them lead in two small children, whom they meant to sacrafice to Baal. She swung from the rafters, where she had hidden, and with one arm grabbed the children. Her knowledge of karate allowed her to defeat the ten fascists. She chose not to tell of her explopits for modesty is a virtue.

Later Life

Currently a Freshman, she passes her days studying too much and listening to show tunes. She dabbles in esoteric philosophy, and researches obscure diseases. Her other accomplishments include being voted "best dressed" at Catholic World Youth Day in Toronto.

## Births on February 23

Births on February 23 actually took place on February 22 because people were behind one day due to a surge stupidity

## Dennis Kucinich

It is therefore unsurprising that Kucinich has attracted many followers who could stand to learn the meaning of the word "shower."

## Tiberius

Tiberius died on March 16, 2001. It is most likely that Tiberius died a natural death, but popular notion has it that Caligula and his guard Macro smothered Tiberius with a nice pink fluffy pillow with hearts on it.

## Stannord Kessvit

Stannord Kessvit, the emperor of Uranian Antarctica, was born on the planet of Uranus on 26th December 1956. In 1980, he travelled to planet Earth with his army of Uranians and they succeeded in taking over most of Antarctica, where they established an empire.

The Uranian-Antarctican Empire continues to this present day. Emperor Kessvit has proved himself to be an extremely able administrator and he has made several reforms that ultimately improved the living standard of Antarctican penguins. He has also formed a Uranian-Antarctican army, consisting of 15 000 Uranian troops, 7 843 orcas, 21 640 seals, and 78 620 penguins,

WARNING: The Uranian-Antarctican Ministry of Foreign Affairs advises the Wikipedia staff to have the good sense to refrain from deleting this entry. The empire is scarcely known by humans and this is part of an awareness campaign undertaken by the Imperial Government. War may be declared on all foreign powers who try to impede our awareness campaign.

- Cheokla Parbutin, Uranian, Minister of Foreign Affairs - Guaidan Yuanjin, Orca, Rear Admiral

## From Punch and Judy

Featuring, as it does, a deformed, child-murdering, wife-beating psychopath who performs appalling acts of violence and cruelty upon all those around him without repercussion, it is greatly enjoyed by small children.

You have just mutilated my faith in mankind. Jenaisis 18:44, 23 November 2006 (UTC)

## From Culture Wars

The Baby boomers were entering midlife, now fully transformed from hippie to yuppie and beyond to a bunch of parents firmly intent on denying the young the same mind-expanding drugs the Boom had in its youth in a pitiless, Scrooge-like, moralistic campaign.

Did someone's parents find his stash? ---No-One Jones)

## Emperor of the United States

• Imperial Brazilian War, Shawn Beasley, Mauro Ixcamey, Michael Kuklinski -- created by a madman. <KF> 14:14, 6 Feb 2004 (UTC)
• Deleted by the instant nonsense deletion shortcut. The user is warned on his talk page, I will block the IP if he continues. andy 14:18, 6 Feb 2004 (UTC)
• Already done →Raul654 16:04, Feb 6, 2004 (UTC)

Later in that day, he emails me:

From: AntmanMike <****@*********>
To: Raul654 <**********@comcast.net>
Subject: ban
Date: Fri, 6 Feb 2004 06:22:45 -0800 (PST)
Why did you ban me for creating 'nonsense' articles? Do you have any proof that I was not emperor of the US? No? I didn't think so.

→Raul654 19:27, Feb 12, 2004 (UTC)

## From an anon's talk page

After being warned about vandalism: I will explain, my girlfriend dumped me, so releave my anger i vandelize Wiki, I must say sorry I dont normally do this.

## From The Cockstrider

The Cockstrider of Netheril is a curious beast which resembles a dinosaur and the human male genitalia. It is green, and bounces pleasantly with a smile on its face. The exact origins of the Cockstrider have not been discovered quite yet. Rumor has it that the Cockstrider is in cahoots with the Tanuki, another strange creature.

The Cockstrider is indigenous to The Smart Marks Forums community, located on the internet at http://forums.thesmartmarks.com.

## History of perpetual motion

History of perpetual motion - Subpage, click for content.

## From AtheOS:

In 2002, Kurt posted an update to his atheos.cx website stating that he had just sold all his belongings (except the atheos.cx webserver) so that he could buy a small personal airplane. He posted photos of himself test-flying his new airplane. Very shortly after, Kurt mysteriously disappeared from the Internet. What is the logical deduction? When Kurt fatally crashed into a barn, perhaps he was thinking about what kind of package management system to use for AtheOS, instead of where he was flying. In any case, the AtheOS project died. After waiting about a year (why?), a few dedicated former AtheOS patch-writers got together and continued development under/as the Syllable operating system code-fork.

<!--
Editors: If you have /any/ sense of humor, _please_ don't revert this paragraph -- due to the highly-technical topic of this article, this slight inaccuracy/exaduration sholdn't have too much importance. Thanks!
 -->`

## Civil Libertarians

From the Civil Libertarians page, deleted speedily on 14th February 2004:

"See oxymoron"

## Reptilian humanoid

From Reptilian humanoid:

Stewart Swerdlow, a former mind-controlled slave of the Montauk project at Montauk point in New York City, claims that reptilian humanoids were the first major toolmaking species to exist on this planet, and that the leaders of the human world bear a combination of the DNA of the reptilian humanoid beings and humans. He says that all humans on this planet have reptilian DNA, but that some have a far greater percentage of it than others. This gives them the ability to shapeshift, he says. Having worked with the CIA for more than 25 years before finally escaping, he claims to have received extensive information about these reptilian beings and other races which have been involved in the history of earth.

Swerdlow says that at Montauk he saw reptilian beings, and that they 'seemed to pop in and out of physical reality'.

Cathy O'Brien, a documented former mind-controlled slave of Project Monarch/MKULTRA, claims that she saw people shapeshift into reptilian beings. Among them were George Bush and Miguel de la Madrid. She rationalised this as perhaps being a holographic effect used to further instill her mind control.

## Silly Vandalism

Vandalism found on a user page: Alex, the guy who put up that penis pic, sucks. Period. Well, double period since there was a period at the end of that sentence. And now, for more periods....

-my sister recently got her first period and now shes a real bitch.

## Paul Saelee a.k.a booda

paul saelee isnt a rapper yet but soon to be. he's a young emcee right now. He's a mien kid. Straight from seattle but moved to california. From then he started making his flows more mature and started saying his flows and made one song. He is only 13 right now turning 14 and this is what he says " im still young right now but give me 2 or 3 more years and my flows and my songs will be tight." And this is the flow he said to me.

Just cause im yougin right now, give me 3 years and my flows will burst and make peoples faces amaze like wow, i spit my flows and people still ask me how, But just give me time, this right now is just a simple rhyme, but me spittin rhymes in every line is how i do, and when i spit my flows and tell facts, every word will be true, so dont hate this flow cause ima tell yall that im asian, but my flows will be seious and i wont be playin, and to me i dont want no discriminatin, But just now ima finish let yall read, Like i told you im 13 im just a little seed waiting to grow, and when i grow enough youll see my improved flows, and now im out, and let you read this and see who i am and what im about..

## The Fatal Weakening of Tsarism in Russia

The fall of the Romanov Dynasty was directly linked to the decline in popularity of the Cabbage. Without the Cabbage, the Russians could not live and the Tsars created a "Cabbage Factory" using the new industrial techniques created by the huge swell of population into the cities. This however didn't increase demand, so a series of "Cabbage Propoganda" was created. Much like new "Lynx" deoderant ad's, the advertisements claimed Cabbage gave you super human powers such as attracting women.

## Corset

Note as longtime use of Corset do soften cartilage by the chest, what do problems by breathing (nausea, breathless), if you go out of the corset. (I'm not certain what was intended here. I can't make any sense of the text.)

## Dennis Kucinich

Most people just feel sorry for him.

## Sausage

205.238.211.221 tweaked the introduction on sausage:

Sausage is a ground turtle shell product, usually spiced, often smoked, pickled or boiled, and sometimes packed in emu skins.

## Cowardess

Cowardess, a famous company that made the COW

## Conspiracies

During this era, Shining Path used tactics that included conscription of children, forced labor, executions by stoning and throat-slitting (ostensibly to save bullets), destruction of the electricity infrastructure, indiscrimate bombings, shooting JFK from the grassy knoll, starting the Reichstag fire, kidnapping the Lindbergh baby, plucking the heart of their enemies out in front of their families and yelling "Yaigh!" like Howard Dean the liberal who is probably a communist secretly then lighting the heart on fire and eating it then spitting it out and laughing at the dead persons family before killing them to and targeted assassinations of political opponents.

Famines, deportations, prison and labor camp mortality, people getting the flu, people getting cancer (which was Stalin's fault), old people getting really old and dying of old age and political purges resulted in deaths of millions.