Note:To nullify these threats invest in bearware!

Holisht! Your computer is in grave danger. If you ever see any of these, run for your life!!

• Thugs With Knives

• Stalking Cookies

• The AIDS Virus

• Trojan Horses

• Foetus the clown

• Nuclear War

• Disk Jockeys

• Flameviper

• Bird Flu

• Star Wars

• Transformers

• Ian Huntley In A Toupee

• Toupee In An Ian Huntley

• Egg Timers On Cocaine

• Feminists

• Bill Gates

• The Microsoft Word Paperclip

• Sexual Innuendo

• Interracial Homeroticism

• Extraracial Homoeroticism

• Pokemon

• Superman's Mum

• Mum's Superman

• A Broken Off Switch (Nooooooo!)

• A Precariously Balanced Cup of Water

• A Large Dollop of Shit On Your Keyboard

• Dame Edna Everage

• Right Said Fred

• Mahatma Ghandi Quotes

• The Police (T'is A Threat For Black Computers)

• A Shakespeare Monkey

• Disney Films

• Lara Croft

• Athlete's Foot

• The Paris Hilton Volcano

• Mr. T's Fanmail

• Pogo Sticks With Knives Stuck On the End

• Scotland

• J.K. Rowling

• Blind Thugs With Knives

• Ryan with a SMG

• Windows Vista