Yes, this article is going to be featured. Damn, it is. I'll keep nomming it 'till it's featured. THIS ARTICLE WILL BE FEATURED!
It won't be like that article that'll never be featured. This is really illogical. It rapes the banana on Tuesday lunchtimes with Chuck Norris reopening my toothbrush in the wind! Yeah, now that's what I call illogic. Much better than that article.
Maybe we can just consult Master Bation.
He'll know what to do. He's my martial arts teacher. He knows everything.