What? Where did that cat come from? We don't have a cat.

This is all stuff you find under your sofa. I found it anyway.

  • A five pence piece. Wahey, you can now retire.
  • A metric tonne of dog fur - the all purpose nourishment for drunken stupors.
  • Some chewing gum.
  • Spilled Coke.
  • A small civilisation of mini-humans created when you spilled the Coke on the chewing gum.
  • A cup of tea - mm I say.
  • That watch your spouse thought you had lost and made an unecessarily big deal out of.
  • The kitchen sink - wha?
  • Monsters. You are likely to be eaten by a Grue. Or a Pokemon.
  • Half eaten Mars bar - more nourishment, maybe too much, you may have to work out after this to shed those pounds.
  • Garden shed - so that's what has given me a bad back on those nights on the couch.
  • Jimmy Tarbuck - damn I had so hoped he had gone for ever.
  • Old choccy wrappers.
  • Those plastic things on shoelaces.
  • Osama Bin Laden

Wow, cool eh?

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