This is all stuff you find under your sofa. I found it anyway.
- A five pence piece. Wahey, you can now retire.
- A metric tonne of dog fur - the all purpose nourishment for drunken stupors.
- Some chewing gum.
- Spilled Coke.
- A small civilisation of mini-humans created when you spilled the Coke on the chewing gum.
- A cup of tea - mm I say.
- That watch your spouse thought you had lost and made an unecessarily big deal out of.
- The kitchen sink - wha?
- Monsters. You are likely to be eaten by a Grue. Or a Pokemon.
- Half eaten Mars bar - more nourishment, maybe too much, you may have to work out after this to shed those pounds.
- Garden shed - so that's what has given me a bad back on those nights on the couch.
- Jimmy Tarbuck - damn I had so hoped he had gone for ever.
- Old choccy wrappers.
- Those plastic things on shoelaces.
- Osama Bin Laden
Wow, cool eh?