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Star Wars

From Wackypedia

Oh no, that's your computer pwnt.
Do not be fooled. Star Wars has already groomed your computer and is progressing to sodomy!

If you are reading this article, it's already too late. Expect to be seeing Jar Jar Binks in heaven any time soon. Not to mention Pasta!







Contents

[edit] The inventions & intentions of Star Wars

Star Wars was invented some time in 666BC by the first leader of Germany, Darth Santa. It was originally invented as a computer virus (Darth Santa being a man who likes to think ahead) and is still one now.

Darth Santa, the schizophrenic inventor of star wars

Stars Wars was, at one point, stolen by Matt Lucas for use as a comedy sketch in the worldwide-renowned sitcom Schindler's List. However, he was then Uber-sued and has since died of Pirate-related diseases.

After having invented Star Wars, it has since become a franchise with Movies, TV Spinoffs and Solo music careers:

[edit] Movies

  • Star Wars 2: Revenge of the Stars Massacred In the Last Movie
  • Star Wars 3: Sequel-o-rama!
  • Star Wars IV: The McDonald's Product Placement Special
  • Star Wars: Skip a Few
  • Star Wars MCXXXVIII: Okay, I Really Think We've Run Out of Ideas Now
  • Star Wars MCXXXIV: Yeah, Definitely Now
  • Star Wars MCXXXV: Srsli Stop
  • Star Wars MCMXXMXXCICNXMCXCMXCNXXCMXCIXCXCNXCMCXIXCCXNXCMXCNCXCIXCCIXCXCNXMCX: Too many numbers!!!
An album by Cannibal Corpse, starring Princess Leia as lead screamer, guitarist, pan-flutist and rat-thrower

[edit] TV

[edit] Solo Careers

  • Princess Leia is now a member of Cannibal Corpse
  • Chewbacca had a successful Eurovision entry in 2007 representing Serbia
  • The cast members released a collaborative album entitled "Give us money again plz"

*The clone troops got a new job at Walmart.

[edit] How to combat Star Wars

In order to prevent Star Wars from ever infecting one's strangely impressionable and ultimately very, very nerdy mind, one must ensure that, if it ever comes near you you sit on your helicopter's joystick until you recieve a subliminal message that you can get off. The diagram below will give an example:

A perfect example of how to combat Star Wars. Well done, chewy!

[edit] Results of Star Wars

  • Every actor in the Episodes 4-6 was ruined except Harrison Ford
  • The invention of the most annoying movie character in history, Jar Jar Binks
  • Tent sales skyrocket when a new movie comes into theaters
  • Being a lightsaber salesman is now a profitable job after four centuries of the industry making losses
  • People wasting money on collectors' editions of a movie they already have
  • Nerds trying to force choke each other