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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Regis Philbin, or simply go here.
Regis

Regis Francis Xavier Mario Fladoodle Philbin

Regis Francis Xavier Mario Fladoodle Philbin (4545565454BC-256958566998) is the man that made people millionaires without any money, jumped to the moon from New York and back, invented grass and got the world record of eating the most shoes. He was also the host of a talent show in Jupiter.

Biography Edit

Philbin was number 12 on the list of The 100 greatest people that ever lived. Here is an undetailed description of his life.

Early Life Edit

Philbin was named after Moooooo High School, hence his first name. Philbin was born in New York and London. His parents, Mario and Kathie Lee were born in Louisiana, Texas. Philbin was an only child and he announced that he had a brother, Frank Sinatra on a street in New York. Philbin attendeded 15 schools at the same time and was considered a genius. He got all A's and Z's on his report cards. He watched the radio in his spare time. He got a degree in Biologism.

Personal Life Edit

Philbin has 55645166515126225302520 cats in a 123 square foot home, all of them in his bedroom. Philbin plays the television and watches video games in his spare time. He was in New York and jumped to the moon and back.

Career Edit

Philbin was a biologismist and invented grass. Then he realized that he had the power to make money with the snap of a finger. Then he was the host of a game show, Who Wants to be a Millionaire. Then he went on the radio on a talk show, Live With Regis and Paper, where he talked to a piece of talking paper that talks in a screechy voice in Engrish. He also jumped to Jupiter to host a talent show, Jupiter's Got Talent.

Written and Musical Works Edit

Philbin recorded an autobiography, Who Wants to be a Talking Bird? to be read by hobos. He also wrote songs in a book to be listened to by people. Philbin is a crooner, so he serves steaks at McDonald's.

Death Edit

Philbin will die in 256958566998 from dancing. He will be buried right next to Johnny Cash. He will eat everybody's shoes in his grave.

Famous forEdit

  • Jumping to the Moon
  • Having 2359887553218000 fat cats in his house
  • Being on TV

LikesEdit

DislikesEdit

Rank CountingEdit

  • Life: 123556
  • Speed:500000000
  • John McCain Loving:0
  • Swimming Style: Atlantis
  • Final Rank:600000000000000000000000000: WOW, that`s big! LIKE A BOSS!

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