Hello. Welcome to Fisher Price Linux, probably the greatest distribution of Linux ever made. It's so small, it fits on a microscopic disc, that most people lose the second they open the box. No, wait a minute, there isn't a box, because this is Linux!!! Yeah, yeah, baby!
Anyway, if you're reading this, then you're obviously some sort of a nerd, because non-nerds don't tend to use Linux. They use Microsoft Windows. Morons. Anyway, because you're not using Windows, you can act all snooty to people who do, and because you're using this ridiculously obsure distribution of Linux, then you're better than the majority of Linux users, who just use well-known distributions.
Now, shall we continue?