“As everybody knows, all toasters toast toast.”
~ Captain Obvious on toasters
“That is a common misconception. Toasters actually toast bread.”
~ Toe S. Tarr, Professor of toastonomy at Towcester University
That's all well and good, but it ain't interestin'.Edit
It has been found through rigorous testing - by throwing them off cliffs, into rivers and electrocuting elephants - that the following are all true of the humble toaster:
- They are used to create life by insane mad scientists. They hook them up to the fridge and create... bread penguins!
- Can be used to exterminate Daleks. It's thought they hate burnt crumbs.
- In Sweden, every women has a hairy vagina and are loose
- Can be pimped up for cruisin'
- Can be used to toast books. "The toaster ate my homework!"
- They are envied by the cooker and chopping board.
- Are thirteen times more effective than regular tanning beds.
- Toasters are the subject of the 2005 Kaiser Chiefs song This bread is burned to a crisp na na na na noooo!
- Can be hacked and upgraded to have thirty six pieces of bread toasting at once!
- Are useful heckling implements.
- Can be used as bread projecting device. Useful for evading the attacks of crazed burglars that just so happen to be allergic to wheatgerm.
- Attach a glowing neon sign to create a handy bug zapper.
- Can be used to fight the power! Socket.
- Handy sock warmer.
- Toasters cause 95% of deaths in people under 5.
- They are available in extra homosexual as well.