One day, Ian Huntley was a member of the Pixies (the band). He was fed up of being Frank Black and bald, so he decided to put on a toupee, cut off ian huntley's head and kill teenage girls by "accident". He says the real reason he killed them was because he was born in South London:
“All I ever wanted to do was melt my pork scratchings and put these girls' hair in it before resolidifying it for added mankiness. It's not my fault theyre covered in *ahem* candle wax and they've drowned!”
~ Ross Kemp on being middle aged, living in south london and therefore being working-class scum and the fact that he is Ian Huntley
Everyone has image issues. Even our beloved Ed Gein, who once starred in a Bounty advert due to gender confusion. This is why Ian Huntley is in jail in a toupee. If he was actually bald it would make it less hilarious.
“I demand a 139274 inch TV. And a platinum washing basin. And a toupee!”
This is is the reason why I have photoshopped Ian Huntley to look like he has a wig on him.