For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Handles, or simply go here.

Handles can be pretty hard to handle. So hard, in fact, that two prominent philosophies regarding the handling of the matter have been formed in order to allow people following their easy-to-handle path to better handle it. One of them, Handelism, focuses on the handling of the handle rather than the handle itself, and many of its followers are masterful at handling the challenge of handling handles. In contrast, Handleism focuses on the handles themselves, describing many approaches directly focused at handling them, rather than handling the handling of them. Its proponents cite the focus at more directly handling the handles as making it the superior path, while those favoring the other philosophy like to counter by pointing out that no matter what the Handleists can handle, the Handelists can handle handling it.

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